ethereal | park jimin | ✓

chapter 26 chosen family

"I don't think it's safe for you to continue living there. I think it was a terrible decision to move there, you should have listened to me when I told you my concerns," Mom scolds harshly into the phone.

I pace across the length of the room and fight the urge to sigh out loud. She would be livid if I showed her attitude right now. I don't want to create more problems than necessary.

I inhale sharply and run my hand through the side of my hair. "Mom, I'm fine now. It was only a few bad nights. It won't happen again."

"You don't know that! I knew it was a bad idea but you just had to rebel against us. After all the things we did for you, you are still ungrateful! You ignore everything I say just because I didn't let you hang out with your 'friends'. I don't deserve that from you, I am your mother. Why don't you respect me? What did I do wrong?" Her voice catches on a rising sob. "I'm sorry I didn't let you play as much, but we had your future in mind! We were doing what was best for you!"

Great, now she's gaslighting me. I hate it when she gets like this.

Somehow, she manages to make every conversation about how much I'm hurting her. She always brings up how I make terrible decisions and everything I do will ultimately fail because I didn't allow her to control every aspect of my life.

If she had her way, she would probably lock me in the basement to forbid me from ever leaving the house.

I don't want the life they planned for me. I don't want to go along with every one of their ideas. I want to find my own way in life, but they can't seem to let go of that.

"I know that, but I need to be allowed to make my own decisions."

"And how is that working out for you?" she asks, her voice wavers with frustration.

I clench my jaw tightly and turn sharply on my heel. I walk to the other side of the room and stare at the face for a moment. I am careful with responding, knowing she'll twist my words. "I'm safe now. That's all that really matters in the end."

"Being kidnapped by—, by hybrid smugglers is not okay!"

"I know it's not, but I lived."

"Who's to say you won't live through the next one?"

"There won't be a next one."

"You don't know that."

My eye begins to twitch. "You don't know that either," I snap.

"You are being very immature," Mom chided. "It's a wonder you've made it this far on your own."

"And I will continue to be on my own," I retort stubbornly. "I won't go back. I'm staying here and I'm going to graduate. Then I'll probably get a job."

"You are so headstrong..." she sighs, her voice turning airy with judgment. "It would be a good quality if it hadn't been given to you."

I can't stop myself from wincing. I drop my head instinctively and start lightly punching the wall with my free hand.

Why does she make me feel like this? Why does she do this to me?

When I was younger, she would tell me this all the time. She would mention how parts of my personality were not being "utilized" properly. It wasn't just that she hated my decisions, she hated me. She nearly convinced me to change myself, if only for their approval and love, but I managed to escape that house and finally breathe freely.

I found myself again, and I swore never to go back.

Mom continues, "Look, honey, I think it's time you stopped trying to act like you're ready for this. I don't think you are ready to become an adult yet, not after this. I think it's time you come back home and take a break from your schoolwork. You know there are jobs at the company that would be a perfect fit for you."