Worse for Better- Book #1 in the WF Series

Chapter 1: Worse

♡ Alaiya's POV: ♡

I've learned that I deserve this.

I angered him and I shouldn't have done what I did. That's why tears are streaming down my eyes as I feel the heat rising to my cheeks. That's why my body feels like it's been knocked out of everything it had before. And that's why I deserve to feel hopeless and weak.

"I'm sorry," I apologize while crying and holding in the sobs. My voice is heavy, filled with guilt because I didn't want to make him upset.

"I gave you everything," he seethes into my ear as I squint my eyes the other way to hide in fright.

I know if I beg him to stop, he'll call me something that'll hurt me even more and then continue to hit me more. If I take the hits he already has in store for me, then it won't turn out as bad. It's the only motivation I have going right now, so I use it to keep my body running and not fall apart right at this second.

When my chin is gripped tightly to turn around and meet his blue eyes, I see that the loving Carson has been replaced with someone who only has one thought in his mind. To keep going.

His hand grabs a chunk of my hair and yanks it back, making me look up at the ceiling with a small squeal. I shoot my arm back to grab my hair away from him so he'll stop, but the pain shooting through my scalp is making it harder for me to be able to do anything. He ignores my trying to get released from his grip as his lips meet my neck and wet kisses get laid on it, making disgust be the only feeling I feel.

"You're a bitch," he spits into my ear before yanking my head to the side and letting me finally go.

I take a couple of steps back because of the force he used to push me away as I'm a crying mess, but his eyes show not even an ounce of remorse for what he just did. For all the tears that are freely running down my face and all the pain-filled sobs that are uncontrollably coming out of my throat; he doesn't care.

"You're a waste of my time," he fumes at a good distance in between us, though that still doesn't make me feel safe.

For all I know, he could still throw something at me or walk over here to finish what he started.

Instead of what my inner thoughts are telling me will happen, Carson stomps out of here angrily and I hear the echoing slam of my apartment door travel throughout the entire building complex. My body jumps a little in surprise because of the loud thud, though my heart feels a hint of relief because I can finally let my knees give in. I slide to the floor as I feel myself breaking into a million shattered pieces that I don't know how to recollect. My head is against the wall with sobs that I'm trying to control, but it isn't working. I think he yanked out some of my hair and my cheek has blood on it too that is now on my hand because I touched it. My entire body is sending a stinging radiation that's burning me, but I don't have enough energy to hiss at it. I don't even have the power to stand up and make it to my bedroom to take care of my wounds.

He's not always like this. He's usually sweet and caring, it's just when he gets alcohol in his system or when he's angry with me, he loses his temper. I wish that it wasn't the truth, but this time it was both so it was not only more hurtful, but more brutal as well. It wasn't my intention to make him feel insecure about our relationship or hurt his feelings. A guy just asked me for my notes because he missed a lesson and I thought it would be a little rude to say no since the notes were in my hands and in clear view for the guy to see. The minute I made eye contact with Carson after I handed over my paper to the stranger, I knew I screwed up big time and expected this to happen.