Worse for Better- Book #1 in the WF Series

Chapter 48: Visitation

♡  Alaiya's POV:  ♡

I stare at my ceiling as I miss the feeling of Roman pulling me as close to him as possible and my leg being over his as we slept. We only did it a few times, but it's still my favorite sleeping position. Even before I went to see him, I still fell asleep to the sound of his voice.

Now all there is is silence.

Everyone apparently liked my bed so now we're all squished on this king-sized bed together. Skyler and Bethane are next to me while Ivy is on the outside right next to Bethane.

I think they're all sleeping, but I don't feel like turning around and risking being caught still awake so I don't double-check.

"No one is sleeping so get your ass up and cry," Bethane sits up out of nowhere and demands as she literally reads my mind.

All of them agree with her and sit up to look at me after Ivy turns on the lamp.

"I'm fine." I shrug and pull the blanket to cover my shoulders as I'm the only one still laying down.

"Alaiya, we've all been through someone breaking up with us, you're allowed to be upset," Ivy reassures me.

"Yeah, we're here for you," Skyler agrees with her in her comforting soft voice.

I don't need more people to come into my life and let me ruin them. I can live by myself and I don't need more people breaking me because there's nothing left to break.

"I'm going to sleep." I swallow everything I feel and turn my head to the right from the left.

I pull my knees up to my stomach and shut my eyes just to imagine Roman's voice being here and speaking to me. We would usually talk about football or him at least trying to explain to me how to play. I never really got it, but he was just 'proud' of me for knowing where the touchdown section was. He said that with a bunch of sarcasm if you couldn't tell, but it was still an improvement from my lack of understanding before.

When I asked him to read Pride and Prejudice or just any one of my favorite books in general which range from old romances to new ones, he didn't complain about my knowledge of football again. I begged him to give Pride and Prejudice another try, but we ended up watching the movie together instead. He didn't like it, but at least he watched it.

The girls plop back down on the bed with a sigh and I wait a while until I hear the shuffling and any other movements stop.

Just in case, I wait for an extra twenty minutes just to be sure they're asleep, and when I look over discreetly, I see all of them have been knocked out. I use this as my chance to sneak out of the bed without waking anyone up.

Bethane moves a little, and I stop my movements instantly, but she only did it to get more comfortable.

My feet tip-toe out of the bedroom after another silence of movements, and I make my way towards the kitchen since I'm not getting any sleep anytime soon. I sit on the couch and look down at my fingernails as the guilt is allowed to be shown again. I sniff and try to push it back up, but it's already been ignored long enough and is moving faster than I can end it. I sit with my legs crossed as I put my hands to my face so the girls don't wake up because of my sobs or cries.

He set up that entire picnic for me.

No. It always starts off like that and ends up turning into something hurtful and heartbreaking. I won't let it happen again. I will not let myself be a weak person any longer.