Fight For You - Avengers POV

Twenty-Two

"Y/N!" You heard Buckys voice echo down the corridor to the bedrooms; you wanted to just cry in bed. Alone.

"Bucky please, I just want to be alone." You shouted back, hearing his footsteps getting closer. His hand grabbed your elbow, twisting you around to look at him.

He looked down into your eyes, hurt and upset. His eyes were slightly red from when he had been crying in the meeting, his cheeks still slightly damp.

"I know. I just wanted to say sorry." He sighed and let your arm go, putting his hands in his pockets.

"We're all here trying to help you, but no ones actually asking you how they could help you." He frowned, rolling the words over in his head. "I mean, you need help.... No, that's not right. We want to help but we don't know how. And we're all getting it wrong.... Wait, that's even worse... What I mean is -"

"Bucky" you interrupted, "I know what you mean, and I don't even know if anyone can help me. Which is why I just want to go to bed. Today has been crazy." You turned back around and started back to your room...

"I think that's why we're drawn to each other." Bucky shouted, making you stop in your tracks. "I'm not sure how or who I'm suppose to be either."

You turned to your best friend. He looked so helpless standing there, hands in his pockets and bouncing back and forth from toe to heel.

"You're James Buchanan Barnes. You are the kindest, most caring, funny guy I have ever met." You smiled at him.

"But like you asked me, am I a hero? I mean, I'm here in this building but....it doesn't feel right. After all those that I killed.... I can't be a hero."

"You just help the heroes." Bucky frowned at you and you giggled walking back over to him, "something Clint said."

You pulled at his wrists, bringing his hands out his pockets and took them in yours. "You're a good man Buck. You know what's right and what's wrong. You're trying your hardest to make up for what happened, but that wasn't you then."

"But it was." He bit his lip and looked down at the floor.

"Physically, yes. But I know you. You wouldn't do that. All you've done since is good. I don't blame you. I believe in you."

Bucky looked up, confused, and frowned, "You've said that to me before..."

"No. I haven't." You half smiled and laughed at him, possibly more confused than he was.

"You have...." he said quietly.

You were so confused. You had never said that to him yet he believed you did? Is this another patchy memory of your past?

———

Later that evening, you woke to a bang outside your door. You shot up, alert and panicked. Your heart was beating fast against your chest. You remembered those sort of sounds from that place; the doors slamming as they dragged someone out, or back in. The screams and cries for help.

You blinked a few times and looked around the room, realising your were not at that place any longer. You were safe. You tried to calm yourself when you heard the shouting...

"Would you stop spying on us! Oh my God Steve! You talk about her not trusting you, but do you trust her!?" It was Bucky.

You got up and moved to your door, sitting on the floor and pressing your ear against it to listen better.

"I was not spying! I came to find her and you were already there! And of course I trust her!" Steve voice boomed off the walls even though the think heavy door.

"Then what the hell, man!"

"I don't trust you with her!"

Silence......

He didn't trust Bucky? With you? What the hell? Bucky had never done anything that would make you think he was making a move; you were just friends.

Bucky was taken back by what his best and oldest friend said. He stood there, dumbfounded. "You don't trust me?"

Steve sighed. He was down the hall a little way from Bucky and Y/N room but still in ear shot... "Before the war, you always got the girl. Whichever girl you wanted, they would stop and smile and you would have them. Me? I was your scrawny best friend that you brought along for her friend. They didn't want me there."

"Steve you're being ridic-" Bucky started but Steve cut him off.

"So whenever I see you and Y/N together it takes me right back there! The looks and jokes the two of you have. That closeness. I feel as if neither of you want me there. You'd much rather it be the two of you."

"You're an idiot, Rogers." Bucky laughed and shook his head. "She's crazy about you. Do you not see how she looks at you? Do you not understand what was said in that room?"

Steve shrugged and looked down at the floor as Bucky spoke, "I spent nights outside her room, making sure no one broke in again to test on her. I listened to her! I helped her! I protected her! While YOU called her dangerous!" Buckys voice got louder as he spoke, "And yet she still ran into your arms after we got out of that place. She still went to YOU. She had sex with YOU that night, knowing full well that her memories may not be her own. She chose you! Not me!"

"Did you want it to be you?"

"No!" Bucky shouted back quickly but then stuttered, "I don't... I don't know."

He ran his fingers through his hair and walked nearer your door, not knowing you was just on the other side, listening. "There's this feeling in the pit of my stomach that I just can't shake. Without the memory of her, I don't know what I'm suppose to do with it. And I don't want to ruin my friendship with you or my friendship with her finding out."

Bucky moved to sit between his door and yours, leaning against the wall. Steve walked over and sat with him. "She likes you, Steve. That is the one thing she is 100% certain on. So don't fuck it up."

"I don't want to. I really like her, and I hate feeling like this about you. You're my best friend. I shouldn't feel like this. But you two -" Steve tried to explain but failing miserably.

"If you're waiting for me to say that I won't spend time with her, that I won't be there for her when she's frustrated or sad, that I will leave her the fuck alone..." Bucky sighed and stood up. "Then I'm sorry mate, I'm never going to say it. I'm never going leave her alone. You're just going to have to get used to it." Bucky patted Steve's shoulder before going into his own room.

Steve stayed sat on the floor by your door, not sure how to feel or what to do about it all. He was confused on his own feelings, and why he couldn't be happy with you and Bucky being so close. Bucky was his best friend so it's only right that his girlfriend and best friend got along because... if they didn't.... who would he chose?

After a few moments, Steve got up, stood outside your door for a few moments wondering if he should check on you, but decided against it and walked back to his room.

You sat there in stunned silence; Bucky was right. There was this feeling that you couldn't explain. That feeling was how you knew you could trust him with everything. But why?