Status Quo

Chapter 28 - For You

"Hold up hold up" Shantele says as she paces my room frantically, "you said what?"

"I panicked" I say and raise my head from my palms, "I was scared"

"Why?" Shantele asks, "isn't this what you've always wanted for such a long time"

"It was" I say

"Was?" Shantele repeats and stops pacing, "you don't want it anymore?"

"I do" I say, "but everything is really messed up, he's messed up and I'm also messed up"

"You're not messed up" Shantele says and sits beside me on my bed.

"You don't need to sugarcoat it" I say

"I'm not" Shantele says, "you're just going through a difficult phase that is challenging for you"

"And how do you know that all this is a phase" I ask and stand up from the bed to do my own, "because that's not what the doctors tell me"

"Listen girl cause I wont say it twice" Shantele stands up also and places both hands on my shoulder, "you're not messed up, life is messed up and the moment you decide to let go of all that hate and embrace the people around you who truly love you then you will realize that you're not the messed up one"

I nod my head rapidly as I feel my throat getting hot, I hug Shantele tightly and take peace in the familiarity and happiness she gives me, she is one of the only constant things in my life"

*

*

I pick a baby blue turtle neck sweater and a navy blue skirt along with black ankle boot, I style my hair into a messy bun and add my chopsticks in for fun of it.

I skip down the stairs feeling a little better after the little talk Shantele and I had the night before. I pick an apple from the table when I realize that today is Tuesday meaning Flinette won't be dropping me in school and the person that I get a ride from won't be available because I pushed him away yesterday.

I see a note on the table with Flinette's writing on it, I pick it up and the first thing I notice is Flinette's key on the table. Without even bothering to read the note I push it into the pocket of my skirt and pick up the keys and rush to the front lawn so I don't go late to school.

When I enter the car it immediately reminds me of all the dramatic moments I have had with it like when I screamed at Flinette the day I met Micheal and Shaze came to confront me and I ran away with the car and during our friendaversary when I saw Adaira's birthday notification and ditched Renae.

It's sad to think that I have had a lot of bad memories with this car, as I enter I remember that after ditching Renae I ended up at Shaze's house and we had that intimate moment. I shake my head to rid myself of such thoughts.

I drive to school in silence, not bothering to turn on the radio. Exiting the car took a lot more effort than I had expected because I kept getting scared of how people would look at me or what they would say to me when they saw me and my bandaged hand.

I finally step out of the car when I see Shantele waving at me from the school hallway. I skip towards her and wrap my hands around hers and we giggle and walk into the school. The usual crowd part so that Shantele and I can walk through and I keep telling myself to keep my head up and not to look at the ground.

We finally make it to my locker and sigh in relief while putting my bag and pulling out my necessary books. My locker slams shut and I jump back at the impact.

I put my hand on my chest to calm my beating heart, I slit my eyes at Micheal and his rude behaviour this early in the morning.

"What the fuck was that yesterday?" He demands and I suddenly feel my own bad temper rising up for the battle also.