Him |Zarry|

21.

I shut the locker and locked it, leaned my head over it, took some deep breaths and I smiled. My body was still hurting, I had taken some pain killers but I thought twice before having any meds remembering the last time how I choked on meds.

I don't know what happened, I don't know how it happened, I don't even know what was my fault in that, but, but it was worth it. The moment in the car was totally, I smiled even thinking bout him. Thinking bout the last night in the car. I smiled again, yes it worth it.

I heard some laughing from my behind, it was Him and his whole gang, he was with Kendall, they were too much close unlike the last time, I had a small pain in my heart to see them like that.

I looked at Him with no hopes, obviously but he smiled at me, I blushed like anything. I looked down, took my textbooks and went to my class.

After the lecture, I was waiting for Lou and Niall in the canteen, "ssup mate why the fuck you ditched us yesterday huh" Lou patted my shoulder ughhhh it hurts, I closed my eyes, I can't scream.
I smiled "yah, umm actually there was some shxt with dad, so just... Youh know him.. " I rolled my eyes.
"Yah mate, your dad, cool but next time don't ditch us" Niall said.

"Oh my god, OMG!!!! YOU GUYS FINALLY TOGETHER! I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU TWO". We looked back, it was Bella screaming like anything I scoffed, but I saw Him with Kendall sitting on his lap, I felt a sharp pain in my heart.
My heart beat got faster wtf, why she on his lap,, what did she mean... Together? .. As in like coupl-
"Obviously these guys had to be together, it was so obvious from past these days, they were all over each other" I looked Eleanor she said while sipping her drink.
I couldn't feel anything, Harry with her, they are together, yahhh that was too obvious, they were always together all cuddly, why I didn't notice that!!

I was at the verge of crying, I was controlling my tears, I fisted my hands and clawed my nails deep into it, I gripped it even tighter. All his group people were laughing, he was playing her hair, I closed my eyes, had a glimpse when yesterday he did my hair. I suddenly opened my eyes, I can't imagine him now, I just can't.

"Hey dude, you okay" Naill asked me, I looked at him while Lou and El were concerned too. I jerked away, "yah it's all cool, I... I ummm.. I just studied late last night, soh youh know.... I.. I couldn't get much sleep".
El touched my hand "Dude you go really hard on yourself, already doing good in studies, just relax a bit, Lou why don't you tell him" She looked at Lou.

"Ehhh,,  it's no use.. I have told him thousands of times.. But he won't just listen to me" Lou scoffed.
I half smiled, I looked back again, He playing with her, that's it I can't stay any longer.
I got up from the chair, picked my bag "umm I... I remember I had to go to library, so I be going there"
"Seriously, at least finish your food"
"Ummm I'm already full, Niall you have it bro" And I stormed out to the washroom.

I ran and closed the door, I slided to the floor, I was crying, I couldn't control my tears, there's no one to see, I can cry.
Just one thing - WHY!! I DIDN'T ASK HIM OUT BUT HE DID!
I shut my eyes and could see all the time we were together, I know, that we have not spent much time together but still.
If he wanted to be with her then....
Why he... He... Kissed me.

I got up from the ground, I felt a sharp pain on my stomach, I bent little bit, I remember their punches, they spared my face but my body was bruised, great physical pain too now. This morning only, I felt that it was all still worth for the end but...

I splashed some water, saw my eyes, fucking red, my hair were messy, I pushed them back keep your hair back, it's better that way.
Ughh he's always in my head, I was stupid, to think that yesterday meant something for him, I already know what type he is, but still, it's all my fault.

I've been avoiding my body pain since morning only because of that moment in the car, his passion yesterday was everything. That's it, what happened, just happened, you got this Zayn! Stop thinking bout him, he's taken now.

I looked myself again, hair, clothes, cool, picked my bag and opened the door.
I looked at my phone, Lou texted

Lou-
Everything alright bro?

I smiled, he always gets me even when I'm pretending hard to be fine.
 

  Zayn-

                                            Yeah, all cool bro

I shut my phone, I looked up, His gang was passing by and He held her by the waist, she playing with his hair.

Was it really worth it?
I closed my eyes.

Mmm, baby, I don't understand this
You're changing, I can't stand it
My heart can't take this damage
And the way I feel, can't stand it.