Wisps: Recollection (Ninjago X Reader)

20. A Part of You Died

Who is screaming? Who are they screaming for? Who caused their pain?

"Kai...?" Your hand is the only thing keeping him from collapsing. Fingers feel for a heartbeat and meet frigid silence. You're shoved to the tatami mat, falling to it like a puppet with its strings cut. Lloyd yelled for Kai to wake up.

Lightning smites the air, Jay over you with eyes red and puffy, breaths labored as he screamed it out: "You–you–! You killed him!!!" Jay is wrestled back by Master Garmadon as the guards rip you away from the scene before you're mauled by lightning. "Kai's–he's–!"

You couldn't believe it. A bad dream. You'll wake up. Everything will be fine.

Everything will be fine.

He'll be fine...

Lloyd sobbed Kai's name and shook his body.

Jay trashed in Garmadon's arms and he shouted all his anguish at you.

You're waiting for Kai to move—to breathe. Nothing. He's limp. Dead and cold. The flames have died out.

'I...couldn't have...'

This couldn't have been your fault. You couldn't have. It was an accident. A mistake. You were going to push him off– you didn't even try to blast him back. Or did you? You were so panicked and afraid; you felt like he was going to kill you. He was going to–

Burn you to ashes.

'That's what he was going to do. Right?'

His face said it all. His hurt. His fire. His body. His dead body–

A geisha came into the room walking in front of the stone wall you blankly stared at. She spoke words and they all flew over your head.

When did they bring him in?

Kai lay on the wooden table, head dangling off the side of it. You watched from so far away. They tried everything they could. Nothing. Nothing worked. You only realized now that you were crying tears. They streamed to the tip of your nose, irritating it further.

'If he'd just listened.'

His face is pale and emotionless, unlike the anger of the raging fire he had. An uncontrollable forest fire. He should be mad at you right now, calling you shitty things and– and–

Asking what went wrong is shallow and pointless.

You did it anyway.

So many things did and singled out you.

None of this should be happening.

And you were both starting to... Could you two have– Kai's last words repeated over in your head with all the hatred he poured into them. It was either you or him. He wasn't going to let a traitor live after you tricked and lied to him so many times. It was his fault for not listening... right?

Secretly, you were glad it wasn't you. You looked away from his body.

'It wasn't me. It wasn't.' But the cuts and bruises and small, insignificant burns marked you deep, body and soul.

"Are you done weeping?" Clouse. The snake that started it all.

"You could have stopped it." Your voice is so meek and weak.

"This. This is far from my fault. You killed him."

That made your throat give out a raspy scream, "You set the whole thing up!"

"Chen wanted a show. I wanted to dispose of the asset that proved to be defiant more than once. So I had Skylor tell them about our midnight meetup. You. You were supposed to die this night. You and your traitours blood." His hand smacked you. It didn't sting at all. It felt numb on your skin. Whatever he was saying didn't filter through your brain. It was fucking static with desolate screams– He grabbed you by the back of your head, twisting it towards the corpse. "You have gone too far to pretend to be anything else."

"I-I didn't mean to...!" You couldn't finish it. Admit it. You clawed at his hands and he jabbed his nails into your scalp.

"You didn't mean it? His corpse is right there. Just as your mother has killed many, you have killed many. One more means nothing. This is who you are!" He hurled you at him. You caught yourself on the table, looming over Kai. His lifeless eye gazed at nothing. "Accept it. Get rid of all the fantasies you tell yourself."

Denying it dragged you deeper.

"There was a blue light when your hand touched him. Just as your mother did once before, you will bring back the Master of Fire. Flesh, element, and soul. If you can't do it in two days, you are dead."

"You–" His wry smile shook any small confidence to shambles.

"I need you? You are but a small, pathetic thing in the ebb and flow of things. I do not need you; I always get what I want. Even if I have to twist and break things." Clouse pointed to the shelves of books and scrolls and supplies as if it would remedy everything. "Find something."

He's gone and he locked the door.

But you're not leaving.

A shaky hand shut Kai's eye.