AGLOW [L.T]

23

I sighed as I sat down on my bed. I was done with every schoolwork for the day and I had nothing to do.

Sophie was probably on her way back from the second show, but she has to work today as well. I'm not going to be able to fall asleep now, it's too early.

The only reason I didn't go to the show today was because I was super embarrassed and scared to meet Louis. His reaction suggested that my thought about BPD might be true, but he never admitted to it so I will leave it alone. He didn't seem to be open with talking about it.

I didn't mean to say it but he was yelling at me and it frustrated me so I yelled back. I said it because it slipped. I didn't mean to invade his privacy to his face like that. I felt really bad all the way back. I contemplated finding him and apologizing, but I couldn't really think of anything to say. What was I supposed to say?

I probably wouldn't have found him anyway. He is from here and can probably find places to stay away, while I most definitely would get lost. He probably wouldn't even forgive me anyway.

I got myself into some shit right now.

I lay down on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. He switched so fast yesterday in that alleyway. He went from playful to angry to... whatever he was feeling then. He seemed soft. He was probably chocked.

I have avoided thinking about this all day, my focus had to be on something else. I did school and I did it better than ever so it would take longer to do. I am pretty much in phase right now. I had packed my bags, ready to go back to Manchester tomorrow.

I was beyond excited to go back home.

The tour is on pause for two weeks after this stop. We're going home in the meantime, before we move on to the US. I will get two whole weeks at home before being stuck across the ocean until June... or was it July?

Three loud knocks on my door breaks me out of my thoughts. I look at the clock and realize the show must be over now. Sophie maybe changed her mind, or dad wanted something. In my black sweatpants and black hoodie I walk over to the door.

I remove the safety chain from the door and open it up to meet a pair of blue eyes staring intensely at me. His body is leaned on his forearm in the doorway as I open. My heart took an extra beat.

"Hi Louis what are you-" I get cut off by him pushing past me into my room. He walks to the window in a quick pace. I close the door as he turns to me again. He looks at me with a serious facial expression. My heart pace slowly speeds up the longer he looks at me.

"How did you know?" he asks short and stern. I have an idea what he's talking about, but confusion floods my mind as to why he's here to talk about it. He didn't seem too willing to bring it up.

"W-what?" is all I manage to get out. I feel taken back by his sudden entry. I didn't quite get to grasp what was happening before he walked in.

"How did you know about it?" he repeats, slower and clearer. He still looks sternly at me, not letting his sight leave my body standing by the door still.

"I- I was- you-" I start to stutter as my head feels like it's melting right on the spot. The words melted together and I tried to find words to build a sentence without any luck.

"No! don't give me some stupid lie, tell me the damn truth!" He exclaims, making me jump from his sudden change in tone. His face went from stern to angry. I take a deep breath while quickly figuring out what to say.

"I study psychology and I had a lecture about BPD" I start, taking a few slow steps into the room. "The symptoms reminded me of your sudden change in mood and behavior, but I didn't know for sure since you only fitted some of the symptoms as far as I've seen. I just blurted it out in the heat of the moment"