AGLOW [L.T]

36

AVERY POV: 

I watched the scenery pass outside the window. I was sitting with my legs up to my chest and my arms hugging around them. My hair was falling down over my face as I rested the side of my head on my knees. We were somewhere between New York and Pittsburgh. We had been on the bus for about five hours already, only one hour left. 

My head was hurting and my eyes burned when I blinked. I could not fall asleep after what happened at Louis's room. I was lost in my own head, thinking about that happened with the blood, if it was human and who could have done it. My mind went to a place where I started contemplating that they did it to scare me into further silence, but then they did not know I was going to walk in so I let it go. I was back to square one about who could have done that. The person obviously wanted to get to Louis but got me instead. 

Then I started thinking about the other thing... he kissed me. He grabbed my arm and pulled me in to a kiss. A kiss I did not pull away from, nor did I push him off or even questioned it after. It did not feel like an odd thing at first. It was not until after I realized what actually happened and started questioning it. He apologized, saying I was rambling. Why didn't he just put a hand over my mouth? or tell me to shut up? 

I thought about it for hours. Why did it happen? why did I let it happen? What is it going to be like now? I already have to live with being around them despite everything. I want to stay as far away from them as possible, but they made it perfectly clear that is not happening. It will apparently wake suspicion. 

The next morning Harry knocked on my door. He had two bags in his hand with a new pair of black vans, just like the ones I had just not extremely worn out. They were even the right size. In the other bag was a pair of beige pants and a black tank along with a black jean jacket. None of them were the exact same as the ones I had, but I am not going to be picky about it. The new jacket was some designer piece I could never afford. They were all the same sizes as my old clothes, I am guessing they checked them before throwing the clothes out. 

I took them from him and thanked. I was just in pajama shorts and another tank all day while my hair was a mess at the top of my head, I did not plan on meeting anyone. When I walked back into the dark room to go back to bed he followed me inside, he sat down at the end of the bed and said he would answer any questions I have unless it is too classified. 

I had been thinking all night, but as soon as I got the chance my head went blank. I could not think of a single thing to ask about it that I had not already asked Louis the night before. The only questions I could think of was "why the fuck did Louis kiss me?" but I doubt Louis told him about that, and I do not want to get into any more problem with them right now. 

I just shook my head, looking down at the sheets below me. Harry seemed to understand and had nodded sympathetically before standing up to leave me alone. He had asked if he should open up the curtains for me but I told him not to. After that he informed me that I had the day to think and gather myself before I had to be back like normal. They told Sophie I had something bad to eat and therefor stayed in to make sure I did not get worse. 

For the rest of the day I was pissed, at myself for not taking the chance to ask him and also for being such a push-over. I can not keep letting these people step one me and just do everything they say. For a minute I convinced myself that was over. I am going to question things from now on. I am not going to sit here and just let things happen, especially when I am currently right in the middle of it. I know more than I am supposed to and they hate that, but if they want me to keep quiet there are going to be terms to it. I am not going to just let them tell me what to do and then do it. They are going to take advantage of that eventually. I am not saying I am going to purposely get in any more trouble, I am just not going to let them use me the way that they do.