AGLOW [L.T]

6

I looked up at the sky and saw that the clouds were getting darker. It was about to rain, my mum had made me pack an umbrella. I was gonna refuse to bring it, but she just sound frustrated with me already so I took it and put it in my bag. 

It was Friday, Alicia and Hanna was going to a party tonight with a lot of college kids. They say they didn't invite me because they thought I wouldn't wanna come since it's older kids. They probably just thought I was too childish or something. I just don't want to cross my mum and break her rules. She's stressed as it is. I wouldn't want to be the reason she's mad nor stressed. 

Alicia and Hanna recently started hanging out with these college dudes they met when I was grounded one night. Since then they kind of stopped inviting me. Mum had asked me about it and I just said that I wasn't feeling like going out. 

I didn't want to admit to her they were replacing me, because they didn't think I was good enough anymore. 

I heard thunder in the distance. I quickened my pace to get home before it starts raining. I was exhausted. Lately I had been walking on eggshells to not be in the way for my mum. She had been very on edge lately. 

She would get mad over anything possible, she forgot to make food, she forgot to eat food and it was always messy. Dad got very upset about that. I helped her with what I could. I cleaned up as soon as I could, I made my own dinner and always placed a plate on the table for her to eat when she felt like it. When I got up in the morning it would still be there though. 

I walked around the last corner and could see my house. It was recently painted white, we all painted it together when dad was home over the summer. They barely spoke that time, and when they did they fought and... yeah. Mum told me to never think about it, just ignore it and it was none of my business. 

The only light on was the one in the kitchen, but I couldn't see mum sitting by the dinner table. Maybe she was out? Or maybe she was taking a nap on the couch? I felt the first raindrop hit my chin, then the other one hit my forehead. 

Suddenly It all feels so familiar. 

I cross the road to my driveway. With every step they felt heavier and heavier. Things started to feel more and more familiar. I crossed the grass to get to the steps. I reluctantly walked up the stairs as I felt a heavy pit in my stomach. My steps were so heavy I was struggling to walk. I placed a hand on the doorknob and slowly turned it. 

Something told me to stop. 

I opened the door to the long narrow hallway leading to the living room. The walls were painted grey, they had my old drawings hung on the wall with the childhood pictures of me. In one I was on my dad's shoulders. I loved that picture, but not this time. 

It was quiet in the house, I couldn't hear anything at all. I didn't want to enter the house. Something held me back, but I lift my heavy foot and placed it on the hallway floor. 

I know where I am, and I need to get out.

I was in the same hallway I've been in a thousand times before. I need to get out. I know exactly what's gonna happen next and I want it to stop. I need it to stop. I felt the need to run, but I was stuck. I couldn't move. A cold shiver went through my body, I was frozen still in that awful hallway. I never wanted to see it again. I decided to close my eyes to try to stop it all from happening. 

Suddenly my steps started making their way in the house. There was nothing I could do to control it. I tried to grab the door frame as resistance, but my fingers slipped. My feet walked further in to the hall, around the corner to walk up the stairs.