Gone days || reader x mingyu ||

j.

present

-You never dated Wonwoo?- Mingyu asks

-No, he is a really close friend. He got married 3 years ago and is expecting a kid- you say and smile

-I'm thankful that we are still friends. It's nice to have a friend waiting for me in LA after the one I had turned out to be a- you start saying but pause after you remember who you were talking to

you make eye contact with Mingyu, and he shifts uncomfortably in his seat

there is an awkward pause

-Why did you come back now?- he asks

-I always visit each December; I just stay with my mom and rarely go out. If I do, it's only to see Wonwoo and his wife which are the only people I talk to here- you snap back a little aggressively

-Can I ask about the baby now? You told me about your dad's funeral, but you avoid the question whenever I ask you about the baby. I came here to know what happened to it- he says 

-I found out I was pregnant in February when I noticed that January started and ended and my period never came- you sigh

-I couldn't believe it at first because we were cautious, but it is what it is. I was really upset, I was mad, and every time I thought about the baby I thought about you, and it just made me very upset because every time I think about you I think about what you did so my first choice was- you say, but you don't know how to tell Mingyu, the one that was the dad. 

- what choice were you considering?- he says after you stopped talking for a few seconds. You knew that he knew what the choice was, but he just wanted a verbal confirmation from you.

- My first choice was getting an abortion- you say and look at Mingyu

he looks at you for a few seconds and looks away

-Is that what happened to the baby? you aborted it without telling me?- he asks, the tone in his voice being upset

-first off, no, I didn't. Second of all, even if I had gone through with it, it is my body, Mingyu- you exclaim, and Mingyu rolls his eyes

-It's not that I'm against abortion; it's just that I can't believe you would have done it without telling me about it. I would have gone all this time without knowing I had a baby- he exclaims 

-I was the one that sent you the letter telling you about the baby in the first place-

-Yeah, when it died, and it wasn't even a good letter, it was you saying on a piece of paper, "We weren't careful and I was pregnant but not any more so don't worry about it" and threatened to get a restraining order against me if I flew out to ask you about it, and I didn't have a phone number to call you in, and you blocked me on all social media so that "telling me about the baby" that you claim happened... it didn't do much- he says in an angry manner

-well, it died either way, so it doesn't really matter now.- you raise your voice back at him, and you stare into each other, upset.

I had already created the appointment to do it the next week, but I canceled it the day before it happened. I was sure about aborting it, but I wasn't ready to do it that week. so I scheduled it for 2 weeks after that to try and come to terms with it before doing it and take it all in. - You smile

-I was going to call my mom and ask her what to do, but she had just lost her life companion, and I didn't want to burden her with this.- you sigh and make eye contact with mingyu for a split second

-She doesn't know about any of this?- he says 

-No- you reply

Jaehyun was with you through all this. But you didn't know how to bring it up.

Mingyu had an expensive watch, he was well dressed, his cologne smelled good, he was wearing high-end brands it almost felt like him talking to you was charity,  and to top it all off, he was happily engaged to the girl you met at your mom's breakfast place. His life was perfect, even when he had done an awful thing to you. You could guess that he laughed at your misery for months after that.

but this "being well dressed" thing wasn't the case for you

if the occasion didn't call for it, you didn't dress up. You picked anything as long as it was clean, you were unemployed, taking a break from a relationship where your boyfriend kicked you out of the apartment until either you broke up or you changed your mind about your future with him. You were a failure.

However, Mingyu didn't know that. And he didn't have to know.

You smirk slightly and straighten up in your chair. You take a deep breath and decide to bend the truth a little.

-My fiance was there for me all along- you say casually

Mingyu gasps and looks at you in shock, but you can tell he is trying to hide it, so he clears his throat

-Fiance?- he asks redundantly

it was true. He did help you through that part of your life; back then, you were friends, so you didn't lie about that

however, he was never your fiancé. you never went past the boyfriend stage, and probably,  since he seems so fixed on his idea against marriage,  he probably will never go to the fiancé stage

-You're engaged?- Mingyu asks

-yeah, I actually came here to have my mom help me with wedding arrangements- you say smoothly. you were better at this lying thing than you thought

-oh, congrats- he says

-congrats to you too; you said you were engaged, right?- you say

-yes, I am- he smiles

-So tell me about him- Mingyu says

-You didn't come here to ask me about my fiance- you snap at him

the awkwardness in the room was too heavy for your preference

- as I was saying, I was going to go through with the abortion, but the week before the appointment, I had a miscarriage - you say and take a deep breath

-You see, I was sure about ending the pregnancy, but it wasn't supposed to happen until another week. I was going to come to terms with it and say my goodbye to it, in a way- you say and look down to your fiddling fingers

-But what was supposed to be a normal night of me going to sleep ended up being awful. I woke up in the middle of the night to the bathroom, and I could tell something was wrong. Things didn't feel right-

-Do you have any idea how baffled I was? to not understand how my brain works? how did I mourn so much the loss of a fetus I didn't want in the first place?- You scoffed at yourself

-Don't worry, I get it- Mingyu says

-Do you?- you say and look up at him

-I discovered that day that my uterus was a baby killer, the odds of me having kids is slim to none- you cry, and mingyu looks startled, not knowing what to reply to what you just told him

-In a way, I feel that I was mourning not only that baby but also the fact that my uterus is fucked up and it is highly unlikely for another baby to exist- you say and shrug your shoulders 

-I'm so sorry for all this, I know I am hurting, but I can only imagine the pain being ten times worse in your case and all this happening so soon, one after the other... I really am sorry y/n - Mingyu says 

-it's ok- you say, and take a deep breath

you hear a car pull up at the driveway, and you guess it's your mom coming home

-Ok, it's your cue to leave- you say and make Mingyu stand up from his couch and push him towards the exit. He turns around and smiles

-Thank you for agreeing to meet with me and helping me get closure- he says

-no worries- you say

Mingyu leaves and bumps into your mom at the exit, they say hi to each other, and he leaves to get on his car that right on brand for Mingyu, was a high brand car

-You still talk to Mingyu?- she says and turns to look at him getting on his car

-No, we just got some things sorted out- you say as you both look at him drive off into the night