The Light in the Dark | Neville Longbottom

Chapter 55: Touched Nerves

November 29th, 1996

It's been months since I last visited the Black Lake. It was cold as hell there, considering it was November, but it was still a great place for clearing my mind. I had woken up early that morning, around six, to go watch the sunrise and do some self-reflection.

For the first time in a while, I pulled out my pathetic old notebook, the one I've had since first-year. A lot of the pages had been torn out and used over the past couple of years. My last entry dated all the way back to November 20th, and all I did was complain about Umbridge's mistreatment. That was also the day that Neville and I kissed for the first time... oh, how things have changed.

I took out a quill, writing a life update. Most of the rumors have died down over the past week. Susan Bones got caught giving someone a hand job in a supply closet, managing to take the attention away from me. Of course, a couple of Slytherin students mentioned it every now and then, but with Theo dragging it on, why wouldn't they be. I found it quite pathetic that Theo refused to let the rumors go; it was like he was obsessed with me or something.

Neville only spoke to me when he was plastered. And after Halloween, I've learned to just shoo him off. Hermione told me it was a whole case of the "plastered actions were sober thoughts" thing, but I refused to believe it. Things were already horrible between us, and besides, now I had Hannah to deal with. The two hung out ALL. OF. THE. TIME, and because I've gone back to eating breakfast in the Great Hall, I've had to witness the two at breakfast together. It was horrible, like it was really bad...

"Nevvie, come here! Look at this plant I found! Isn't it just adorable! What's it called?"

"Petal, that's called a rose. It's beautiful, isn't it?"

"It is beautiful... do you think I'm beautiful... like the rose, Nevvie?"

I wanted nothing more than to stick my head down a garbage disposal every time I heard it.

Their stupid pet names were enough to make me not want Neville back. But I stood by my point, the only reason he was with Hannah was because he missed the old-me. I saw it in his eyes when she purposely played stupid. Not my problem though, Neville chose her, so he could deal with the consequences.

I, on the other hand, had other things on my consciousness. Without the threat of being hunted and killed every waking moment of the day, I sometimes forgot about the fact that Bellatrix Lestrange was my mother. Then it randomly hit me in the middle of the night... or during class... and basically ruined the rest of my day.

But that was pretty much it... quidditch was going great, my friends were great, and I was doing extremely well in my classes. Even potions, which was a surprise. Slughorn still didn't let me into his stupid little club. But once I heard that Neville was at the dinner party, I decided that it wasn't too important to be a part of it anymore. All of my friends were in it, except for Ron, but he spent most of his time with Lavender nowadays.

I slowly closed my notebook, facing the sunrise. A calm swept over me as a slight smile grew on my face. It was pretty, watching the sun rise at dawn. Also, it was my name, so I thought that was pretty wicked too.

My calm was interrupted by a pinching-feeling in my lungs, causing my breath to quicken its pace. My mind started racing, and I felt like I was falling into a bottomless pit. It had been months since I've felt this... the last time was during the twin's firework fiasco; every other time I had been asleep. Everything was spinning and somebody was whispering in the back of my mind... and then everything went black.

FUCK. YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME? WHAT NOW?

It was another vision, the first one I've had in months. The last thing I remembered was Draco becoming a deatheater- OH NO. Somebody had to tell Harry! Somebody had to tell Dumbledore! I knew everything! I knew the entire plan ahead of time, if I could just remember these stupid things when I woke up.