For you I would ruin myself

thirteen

The next morning, Lily brings the twins, Lexie and Myles to the hospital to go visit Ashton. Lyla brings his favourite sweets that they have at their house for Ashton when he comes over.

Myles probably heard from Lexie about it at 2am at night. No one slept well, everyone is falling asleep in the car, including Lily. Lyla probably had the most trouble out of all of them, she woke up from nightmares of getting calls about Ashton's condition getting worse or visions of Ashton falling fatally and hitting his head when he fell but Lexie wasn't there.

She probably woke every 30 minutes and it just became too much she eventually just slept on the floor of Luke's bedroom for a bit of comfort and safety.

It's going to be a very long week.

It's almost midday when they arrive at the hospital. With Peds, the visiting hours are slightly looser and longer. Ashton's laying in bed when they arrive, empty expressions across all their faces, except for Ashton, with a tiny crooked smile appearing when they enter his room.

Lyla is too tired to feel anything, she's too tired to be mad and furious or still be scared out of her mind. Everyone is just too tired.

Lily takes Lindsay for some actual nice coffee and food outside the hospital and gives the kids the room.

"Hey, how are you doing buddy?" Myles asks Ashton.

"Better than yesterday but still feel like shit, haven't moved yet, just stayed in bed."

"You sleep fine?" Luke raises a question.

"No, not really," Ashton answers, "Haven't sleep as badly as I did last night in years."

"You're not the only one then," Luke says, making Ashton chuckle just a bit.

"I need to tell you guys something," Ashton reveals. "I have no idea if one of you is going to start beating the shit out of me or start crying. Had a long chat with my mum last night and we figured it's probably for the best. So please just listen."

The 4 of them nod understandingly.

"I'm gonna go to rehab," he says bluntly, "I'm going tomorrow actually. I'll be gone for at least month, probably for a month and a bit. It's a nice place, the hospital recommended it. This isn't the first time and I need the help to get better, I want to get better, so I'm gonna go then I'm gonna be back. It's like an extended summer vacation in a way."

"Can we visit you?" Lexie asks, more for Lyla than herself because Lyla's seems to have lost the ability to speak.

"Uh– yeah I think so. But I have to be cleared for visitors by the doctor, therapist or whoever there who's, you know, fixing me up or what not."

So in other words that means no. Lyla won't be seeing Ashton for a month, he won't be at school for a month, he won't be able to go to their spot for a month, he won't be able to play football games for a month, the list goes on.

"Guys, can I speak with Lyla alone please?" Ashton requests. The 3 teens move out of the room and Lyla finally appears out of their shadows, she's standing in the corner of the room. "Lyla," he says softly.

She refuses to make eye contact with him because she knows she's just going to breakdown and fall apart.

"Lyla, come here, I'm not poison," he stretches his hands out.

Lyla is way too fucking exhausted to argue with him, so she does as she's told and pulls a chair up next to the bed.

"What did you mean by this isn't the first time?" she asks.