For you I would ruin myself

sixteen

Nothing got better during the remaining month of the school term. Nothing went back to what is was just half a year ago.

Lyla refused to sit outside for lunch for a little while, until Lexie dragged her outside once and it wasn't as bad as she thought, it was still horrible. She kind of just looked at her lunch half the time, she did watch Ashton for a bit.

He seemed better, but what does she know. Seeing him smile arose conflicting feelings, Lyla isn't that cold to not be glad that he's happy, yet it still made her mad. Which she has no right to feel. Overall, she's just really angry, all the time. Probably the worst thing she's done is taking it out on Ashton. The poor boy just sat there, so confused because he hasn't done anything wrong lately.

Lyla used to look forward to History, even when Ashton was away, she'd looked forward to her lessons every week. Recently, History is the lesson organised by satan.

The first lesson when Ashton came back was definitely the most awkward lesson Lyla had been in. She tried to not overcomplicate it, tried so hard to be civil, speak when spoken to, maybe even start a conversation once or twice. But all that went down the drain. Down the freaking drain.

Ashton had no interest, absolutely no fucking interest to talk to her. Or even look at her for a fact. He either looked at the front of the classroom or out the window or he'd be doodling on the cover of his workbook, which are still stellar, that hasn't changed. Whenever they were working on their laptops, his eyes were drilled onto the screen and he never twitched once. If he had a question, he'd go straight to Mr Latski and wouldn't even think of asking Lyla first.

So in short, neither of them has said a single word to each other about anything apart from school and homework, that alone was also a rare occurance. The conversation would run along the lines of: 'was there homework?' 'yea' 'have you done it?' 'yea' 'ok cool' or 'was there homework?' 'not that I know of' 'aight thanks'.

It's approaching the end of term, which couldn't come any time sooner for everyone. Everybody needed a break from the tension of school, Lexie and Luke probably needed this break the most constantly being trapped and caught between Lyla and Ashton.

There's no denying that Lyla hates all of this and she could well be the main culprit. She doesn't like being the drama, doesn't like being apart of the drama and all everyone seems to be able to talk about is how Lyla fucked up Ashton. Sometimes all she hears would be incorrect rumours about what happened the night Ashton ended up in hospital.

Once she even heard someone say 'Lyla gave Ashton the weed because she needed to prove a point'. Hearing that almost sent her into instant kill mode and she was completely ready to knock out someone's teeth.

Yeah, everyone needs that fucking month long break.

**

It's already 2 weeks through the Christmas break and Lyla keeps herself trapped in her room and hasn't gone beyond 10 meters the house.

Christmas day was more enjoyable than she thought it'd be, it was a quiet and slow day which is what made the best day of break. Yes of course part of it being a good day was because of the multiple and unreasonable excess of hoodies that her parents gifted her.

The rest of the day was spent in the kitchen preparing the food for Christmas dinner to bring over to their grandparents house. They'd been standing for about 3 hours and Lyla had been up since last night because she doesn't mesh well with a regular and healthy sleep schedule, so she goes up to her room to just nap and lay down for maybe an hour or so.

She checks her phone for the first time in 6 hours, she's gotten a text from Lexie.

Lexie: new year's party at alexa's got an invite and bringing a plus one