For you I would ruin myself

fourteen

It's been 2 weeks since Ashton's been in rehab.

Year 11 starts in about a week or so, Lyla is scrambling to see if she had any summer homework to do. She had been laying everything off ever since he went into rehab, just to get her mind caught up and realise that this is all reality.

It's definitely been tough.

Very tough, if not.

Lyla hasn't left the house willingly. Luke forced her to just walk down the street for 10 minutes one day. The second the stepped onto the sidewalk and saw the house next to her, she just stood there for a good 5 minutes, staring. He's not there, if she knocks, he's not going to open that door, Lindsay is. She found her straight back into the house.

"Lyla, that's not a walk," he says from the living room, hearing the door open.

Lyla lets out a long breath, "Luke just stop, don't even," in an irked tone.

"I just told you to get out of the house, you've trapped yourself in here for the past 2 weeks."

"You overestimate my mental strength," she slams the front door shut, running up the stairs.

Luke frantically chases her up the stairs, "What happened?" swinging her around 180º by the arm.

"I saw his house and freaked out, it's nothing."

"Well it's not nothing if just seeing his house stops you from getting fresh air."

Yeah, it's definitely not nothing. But Lyla really hates talking about that type of stuff, "Ok I exaggerated, it was just weird alright? I'm fine," she lies to get Luke to leave her alone.

"You're lying, talk to me when you're ready."

Lyla frustratingly walks in her room, pushing the door shut behind her and lies on her bed for the next 10 minutes until her phone starts vibrating. It's Lexie, who's been calling her every single day to check on her, but Lyla just really wants to deal with it herself.

"Lex, it's the same answer everyday, I'm fine."

"You're not fine, stop lying to yourself, but I have another question, it's more like a demand though," she says on the other side of the phone.

"Ok then, shoot."

"Ashton's been cleared for visitors."

"No, you're lying," Lyla blurts out, completely shocked. "It's been two weeks."

"I gave the centre my number and told them to call me the second he gets cleared, got the call, literally a minute ago."

"I'm not going."

"Lyla, it's his birthday, just show up, it's better than nothing."

Lyla had blocked him out so well, she'd completely forgotten about his birthday.

"I don't care if its his birthday or his one month sober celebration thing. I'm not going to see him. I can't see physically him."

"Lyla, it's going to be 2 weeks from now and you're going to come crying to me about not going to see your best friend on his birthday."

"Is there a card or combined gift I'm contributing to?"

"We're not allowed to bring gifts, so a card, you can sign it when we're heading over."

"Are we going on the day?"

"Yeah, please don't be bitter, he needs his friends right now."

"Whatever, I'll see you then."