For you I would ruin myself

fifteen

The first term of school goes by rather quickly, also excruciatingly slowly.

There's only another month till term ends and they break off for the Christmas holidays, which has to come sooner because it's been a very very long term.

Registration has gone back to chaos because there is an odd number of boys once again. Break and lunch have been a bit weird without Ashton there, but Lyla got used to it surprisingly and sadly quickly. The car rides from and to school have been slightly more enjoyable since it's just the twins, sitting in silence for 15 minutes. Lyla also gets her seat back, which is another pro.

The weirdest change back was probably History. Mr Latski, thankfully has everyone doing their individual assignments for the whole of the term. Lyla had gotten quite used to having someone next to her to talk to, someone there that could entertain her. Then suddenly she's back to where she was about 10 months ago, sitting alone, unfortunately enjoying her own company a bit more than she'd originally planned.

Today also happens to be Ashton's first day back to school after his 'summer holiday' extended by 2 full months.

Lyla hasn't made an effort or even wanted to see him or speak to him ever since his birthday. She honestly doesn't know whether ignoring him has been helping or doing more damage. Certainly, trying to not thinking about him is hard enough on it's own, but the biggest weight is relieved from her shoulders for that one split second when she isn't worrying about whether or not he's breathing.

Lindsay is driving him to school, so thank the lord neither of them have to deal with the awkward car ride to school because Lyla isn't having any of it today.

She went to bed last night, more like this morning, at God knows when. So she's probably on 4 or 5 hours of sleep. She slept through all 4 of her alarm, which never seems to stop. Her hair brush nearly got caught and tangled up in her hair, seeming as she looked like she was trying to rip out her whole scalp. She could've had waffles with her mum's home-made whipped cream, but she woke up late so her breakfast consisted of a mango that wasn't ripe and apples that weren't crunchy at all.

No, it hasn't been a pleasant start to the day, at all.

But today isn't going to be a crappy day if she doesn't let it be. So she's going to be civil, find her inner zen and try to be as nice as possible when she sets foot on school property.

To put it plainly, Lyla doesn't like people now.

It's a lot more complicated than that though. She likes social interaction, she likes talking to people. But it's the big groups of people and the girls who obsessed over irrelevant drama and the boys who can't seem to shut up about their dead haircuts. She hates that, and seeing and hearing those people takes up about 70% of the school day.

So, people as a whole, whatever they're alright. Those specific people is a big no-no.

Her and Luke throw their bags onto the side walk and jump out the car. The sky is grey and the wind is chilling, which actually is Lyla's favourite weather.

"You gonna be alright today?" Luke asks, as they make their way across the road.

"Hopefully, just got to not be pessimistic."

Luke lets out a breath of relief, "I'll tell him to not force anything out of you, he'll understand it's been tough for the both of you."

"I can deal with it myself Luke, I'm not your baby sister," she teases.

"I'm only 40 seconds younger that doesn't make you superior," he jumps back. "Seriously though, I can talk to him if you want."

"Luke, for God's sake, I'm not that fragile, I am not glass. Ashton isn't that horrible, he isn't a hammer or rock or whatever, he won't break me. He knows, he's a good guy, he knows when too much is too much."