Meridian ◈ Seungjin

9 ◈ "Control"

Forewarning: Descriptions of violence, blood.

Something is wrong with me.

He marched down the empty hallway, a hand clenching tightly by his side and the other gripping at the gauze wrapped tightly around his shredded neck, concealing the scalding burn tearing apart the inside of his throat as it constricted around the claws digging their way through the sludge. It felt like sludge. That grime, molded and filthy, dried and congealed, Hyunjin couldn't escape the ooze clinging to his lungs and shoes as he stepped through the puddles of it on the floor. He could see it dripping from the walls and ceiling, leaking from the cracks of lockers, purposefully flowing, drifting, he had to lift his legs higher than usual to navigate past whatever that ooze was. His free hand came to cover his nose. That stench was rancid; Every second he spent around that disgust, his nostrils stung with a fury overpowering that aching in his muscles. But it was familiar.

His shoulder slammed into the nearest room, hand briefly dropping to shove the door open and slam it shut tightly behind him. He leaned against it, breathing, letting the cold breeze drifting into his lung calm the heart thundering wildly in his chest. Slowly, his hands dropped to his sides, head bumping gently into the door behind him as he relaxed in the room. Again, Hyunjin reminded himself, This isn't real. None of what you're seeing is real. You know it isn't.

Despite the obvious fact, this wasn't a dream.

He pressed off the door, letting his wobbly legs and staggering steps lead him forward. Closer, to the mirrors surrounding his every movement. Presenting, reflecting, warping his motions into the mannerisms something less civilized. Something wild. Something feral. Something like a beast, culminated from his ongoing nightmares and fierce phobias curdling his blood whenever his mind wandered a bit too far. In the mirror, a parallel world, which one was the truth? Was it the clawing monster hunting him from the other side of the mirror? Was it him, trudging through the slough of percolating slush to reach that beast? Everything he hated about himself was staring back, and it was taunting him. He let a fist thud gently against the mirrors of the dance room, barely hard enough for it to tremble under his grip. But it did. The mirror still trembled under his touch.

Like everything else, it was afraid of him.

He watched the beast in the mirror. He could see the fangs peaking from under it's upturning lips, as if to taunt him. His head throbbed.

The door to the practice room gently tiptoed open.

"What do you want?" Hyunjin snapped at the other's reflection, not even bothering to press himself away from the mirror as his arm bridged above his head and his forehead leaned against it. He could barely make out the outline of the person, their shape, their hair, their stature. But he could hear them. He could hear the rhythm of their heart, tapping lightly but quickly in their chest like beats on a snare drum. And, he could smell them. Not because of a rancid stench, it was the opposite; An aroma that reminded him of the world outside, one that wasn't crawling with grime bleeding from shadows and in the reflection of reddened eyes. Vaguely, it reminded him of sage bundles lit up for smudging. Something about it was infuriating, but exhilarating.

"You didn't look well when you were walking around the hallway, I was curious if you were dying or not," Seungmin replied, not startled with the sharp words but almost disappointed at his own. Of course he would be. Hyunjin let his gaze focus back to the mirror, his palm pressed flush against the surface slipping from the sweat and condensation it left on the surface. Behind him, he heard the shuffling of footsteps coming closer. And closer. Although he wished to yell at the person, tell them to go away, shout to leave him alone before he would turn the growing anger on them, a bundle of fingers pressing against his temple silenced him. Seungmin asked in an accusing way, "Do you have a fever? You're burning up."