𝚜𝚞𝚒𝚌𝚒𝚍𝚎 𝟷𝟶𝟷

𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐞𝐝

The class rushed to the window, some peering outside of the broken window. A mangled body lay at the bottom, only a bit of blood coming out of the wounds. The leg was twisted in the wrong direction, giving the effect of a crane's leg. Splayed around him lay his broken arms and unmoving.  After a few seconds, the body started twitching, the steady flow of blood halting as the wounds closed. The top part of the torso sat up, looking around. After observing his surroundings, he remembered why he jumped out of the window and dragged his bloody and crooked body to the front door of UA.  He opened the door and used his (still very much broken) arms to go inside.  After a few seconds of horrified silence the now shocked pomeranian snapped out of it.

"I... What the fuck?" Bakugou was quiet for once, simply staring at the pool of blood where Deku was once lying in.

"That was Deku, the new student and the client that I told you about," He paused, letting the information sink in. "Our mission is to protect him and stop him from repeatedly killing himself."

"...."

. . . .

"Hey, mop head.  I can't feel my balls."  Izuku scowled down at his covered prince-parts and poked his soft member.  The teacher stared at him blankly, internally shocked and the sheer stupidity the boy radiated.

"What the fuck."

"Yo dude, I just found out that elbows can bend!  How cool is that!"  Izuku stared at his limb with a look of absolute amazement.  Aizawa groaned, why did the boy have to be so reckless?  Rebellious?  Sincerely and utterly idiotic?  Now you must be wondering what in the shit-stained fucking hell did Izuku do to make Aizawa so averse to him?  Let me explain.

After he'd found Izuku, he was forced to bring him back.  Izuku was absolutely fried by then, soaring in the atmosphere with coke and weed.  Literally.  Apparently, he also had telepathy and was able to float over fifteen thousand feet in the air.  How he found out was a lesson that he would most certainly not want to relearn.  He was still absolutely dripping with blood, his cuts open and limbs mangled and crooked.  In fact, some of his bone was poking out from some of the more critical breaks.

He glared down at the lazy greenette and smacked him on the back of the head with the palm of his hands.  He was almost fully healed, only now feeling the after effects of the dangerous and stupid stunt(s) that he'd previously commited.

"Owchie!  Don't hurt the patient!"  Deku whined, rubbing the sensitive (and now red) part of his head with his good hand before pouting and leaning his head against the back of the chair.

"It's your fault."  

"Excuse me?  All I did was fall!  Blame gravity!"  Izuku looked up at the ceiling and pointed an accusing finger at it.  "FUCKING LITTLE GRAVITY!  I'LL BEAT YOUR SHITTY ASS!"  Aizawa hoped it was the drugs talking and not signs of hidden brain trauma.  To be honest, there is brain trauma but he doesn't need to know that.

"Oh wow!  Look at how nice this vape is!  The color is a nice matte color!"  He laughed and stuck the stapler in his mouth, breathing in deeply as if the stapler was a real vape.  "Too bad it's broken..."

A loud CLANK!  gave Aizawa notice that the boy had stapled his tongue.

"Owth!  Thath thurth!"  (Ouch!  That hurt!)  he exclaimed as best as he could.  Izuku yanked the small metal piece out of the tender flesh.

"Oh my fucking sweet baby Jesus Mary lord.  What is it with you and staplers!?"  Izuku ignored him, playing with the now bloody staple.  All of a sudden, he attempted to throw the staple but ended up shifting his arm, making the already broken bone slide out of place.

"Sheeeeit!  I BLAME YOU MOP HEAD!  I THOT WE WERE FRIENDS!" he yelled, hysterically sobbing.  "FUCKING FAKE-ASS HOE!  SUCK MY UNFEELING COCK!!!"  Izuku started shaking from his uncontrollable drug-induced sobbing.

"Don't blame me.  You were the one who decided to jump out of my window.  And break my window.  And my stapler.  And traumatize my students."

"Tomato, toaster."  The greenette mumbled, slowly slipping into subconsciousness.

"I...  That doesn't even sound remotely alike."  His eyes snapped open.

"YOU DON'T MAKE SENSE!"  he yelled before running out of the Nurse's office.

"I....  MY FUC--  OW!  Who the fu--"  An incredibly angry Recovery Girl stood behind him, internationally-famous pain cane in her hand.  The old woman's hand gripped the cane with the force of a thousand All Might's, the fury of a thousand blazing Hells burning in her eyes.

"Sorry...."  After a few seconds of the small yet deadly woman glaring at him, she finally broke the ice.  Aizawa relaxed slightly.

"Now where is my patient?"  Aizawa tensed up.

"Ehehe....About that...."

"....."

"....."

"Do you want to die, Aizawa-kun?"

. . . .

 a slightly shorter chapter because why not
plot development?  nope.

just random dumb shit
i thought of.

-𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖖𝖚𝖊𝖊𝖓

(idk why i put "𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖖𝖚𝖊𝖊𝖓" tbh)

dsjofidsjiod