The Curse of Beasts (BEASTARS)

On That Summer Night

Three days— three days without classes.

The announcement was sudden, but it didn't matter much to Alan. It gave him the opportunity to raise his options, though he had to juggle it with a slight backlog of homework. Thanks to that, he and Todd spent some time working together on some of it. The goat seemed to notice his demeanor, as he occasionally stole a worried glance and even a question to make sure he's alright. The human was sure to reassure him, but could tell it was waning on him.

Todd sighed as he looked up from his book, "Alan...is there something you're hiding from me?"

"W-what?", he blinked as he looked at the goat.

"Things have been hectic lately, and I can tell you have something on your mind.", his brow furrowed slightly.

"I'm okay...I'm just trying to sort some things out, especially with the Drama Club."

He wasn't lying with that, as he now had a lot of eyes on him there. He wasn't even sure if he could go back after his panic attack, much less Kibi's accident! That alone he was comfortable talking to Todd about, but not about The Shishigumi and what they did to him. He trusted the goat, of course, but knew that there was a limit to what he could confidently say to him. The silence was causing a rift, and it was only matter of time before...

"Oh!", the pencil in Alan's hand suddenly broke in half. "Whoops..."

"That's just what I'm talking about.", Todd said as he got a new one. "Sometimes you're clenching your fists, or being quiet longer than normal. Even now, you just broke a pencil with your bare hand— and that's never happened before!"

The goat held a hard look before faltering, "I'm worried about you. All these things are happening and you're trying your best and...I just don't like seeing you like this."

Alan was silent, not knowing what to say. Up until now, Todd only took his word when it came to his emotional well-being. He never pushed or double-checked, but it must've taken a toll. He had to have wanted to be persistent but kept quiet for the sake of their friendship. Even then, he could see the cracks forming just like the others. He knew the human couldn't keep himself together, so that's why he proposed the day out and B-Strike. It made Alan's heart ache knowing that.

"I...I know.", he said quietly. "I haven't been in the best place for a while, mentally and emotionally. After Kibi's accident, I guess I started to realize just how much is going on with me. I've been thinking about going to a therapist, but...it's kind of slow. I'm mostly just trying to do what I can on my own."

Todd gave him a worried look, "And has it been working?"

A pang entered his heart, "Mostly, I guess, but I just need some time to find the right person to talk to."

He despised the idea of talking to someone about his problems, especially the ones that affected him greatly. It went beyond the simple notion that nobody in the city could understand him, but also into the realm of burdening others. He knew that mentioning The Shishigumi would make even adults try to silence it, evident by the carnivore dorm mother when he and Legosi were in the infirmary. The chances are if he were to a therapist with his problem, they'd sweep it under the rug.

That single thought fueled his lingering option to leave.

It wouldn't make a difference if he were there or not, realistically. If anything, he only made things worse instead of better. They originally said that humans could bridge the gap between carnivores and herbivores, but now he felt as if it were a fantasy. An-Man was the first thing that came to mind, as it was what kickstarted his doubt regarding his place at Cherryton. The fact that they lied and kept it under the rug only for him to take the place of it was infuriating and disheartening.