The Curse of Beasts (BEASTARS)

Conflict of Interest

     Alan was still apprehensive about opening up his past. Even with his first session going somewhat well, it felt weird to him. He wasn't one to lay himself bare for all to see— whether metaphorically or otherwise. He valued keeping his deepest thoughts close to him, although it was getting harder to keep them secret lately. Whether it be concern from friends or his own unstable mindset, there were things being brought out into the world that he didn't want outside his mind. If anything, they were better off away from listening ears. As long as he was the only one troubled by them, he'd live with it.

    For the next session, Gouhin decided to explore Alan's feelings around his mother's death. The panda was...surprisingly tactful regarding the topic, especially with the pushback he got. Alan kept his answers short and terse, not letting any details slip through. Of course, as young as he was at the time, he wouldn't have that many. Most were about what happened afterwards as opposed to the event itself.

    The human said that he was sent to a foster home, but it didn't seem to hold much weight in his eyes. He only remembered a few things, like how kind his foster parents were to him. They treated him as if he were their own, and were more than comforting. However, it didn't matter much at the time— even when he went back to his father. He was distant with them, only acting out of courtesy. There was one detail being left out, though, and it didn't take long for the discussion to shift.

"There's something I don't understand about it...", Gouhin said as he held his chin thoughtfully.

"What is there not to understand?", the human asked with lidded eyes. "I got sent away, I came back, and the rest is history."

"That's just it.", the panda looked at him. "Why would they let someone who killed their spouse live with their child? Even years afterward, it wouldn't make sense. I doubt the courts would let that happen."

"Um, yeah.", Legosi added from beside Alan. "Wouldn't they try to keep you away from him because of what he did?"

He didn't say anything, only shifting his gaze to the wall as a silence came over them all.

"That would be the case unless...", Gouhin mused. "You made them do it, didn't you?"

He furrowed his brow, already feeling his anger rise once again.

"You said you were 11 when it happened, right? So you would've had to wait about three years until you could actively be heard in court."

Alan slowly turned his head to the panda, eyes already holding back the inferno.

"You chose to go back. You thought that you could salvage your relationship with your father after what happened, or at least keep him in your life with your mother gone."

He clenched his fists slowly, an action not unnoticed.

"Alan?", Legosi asked concernedly.

"I was naive.", he finally said in a hollow voice.

"You were younger, so of course you'd think it would be easy.", Gouhin reasoned. "I can't fault you for that, even knowing I played a part in the result."

"You played a part because he lied.", Alan quietly seethed. "Had you known about me back then, you wouldn't have told him to act the way he did."

"Then why aren't you angry at me for that? I basically destroyed whatever hope you had of reconnecting with him at the time, so I'm as much to blame as he is."

"He's the only one to blame. I could give less of a damn about what you said to him and more about what he took from it— and what he took is essentially 'that's the way the world works',  like everyone else says."