The Curse of Beasts (BEASTARS)

Rumble

"Alan-san..? Alan-san..!"

    The voice was the first thing he comprehended, eyes still closed ad he slowly came awake. His head was aching, reaching a hand up to rub it as he sat up with a low groan. Finally opening his eyes, he saw that he was under white sheets. It took him a few seconds to realize he was in the infirmary, Jack beside him looking more than a little worried.

The dog sighed, "I'm glad you're okay. You were out for maybe half an hour, but the nurse said you'd wake up soon."

He still rubbed his head slowly, "What happened?"

"When we read about...", he faltered for a moment. "That program, you started swaying and ended up passed out. It may have been a panic attack."

    The human had only comprehended the first half of his explanation, the rest becoming mist in his ears. The foggy memory of before he blacked out came back in an instant, making his heart pound again. He took deep breaths, trying to calm it down but to no avail. It was useless to do with what he now knew. He could feel himself going back to that night in the hotel— broken down and corrupted inside. It was too much for him to hold in, and so he let it out the moment he was alone.

Now it felt like it was close to repeating itself.

He winced as his head throbbed, making Jack grab his arm hastily.

"Hey, take it easy!", the dog said. "I know what we read was shocking, but things are different now! It won't happen to you while you're here."

Alan snapped his gaze to him, a hard look in his eyes. Jack flinched back instantly, caught off guard by the sudden shift. It may have been a poor choice of words, on his part. He had good intentions, but it didn't seem to matter at the moment. The human glared at him for at least a few seconds before softening and looking away.

"Sorry...", he whispered. "I'm just still trying to make sense of this."

"It's okay. To be honest, I don't know what to make of it, either."

    Neither of them wanted to admit it, but it was crystal clear in their minds. The humans who visited the city were more than likely killed, not a trace of evidence remaining. It was buried away for years, never to be spoken of again. Locked in time for no one to find, forgotten until now. Alan couldn't describe what he was feeling, but he knew it hurt more than anything he felt before.

"Jack...", he began quietly.

"Huh?"

"There's something I need you to do. It's important."

"What is it?"

He looked the dog in the eyes coldly, "Don't tell anyone what we saw. The last thing I want right now is to cause rumors to spread. If they find out..."

"Right. My lips are sealed."

~~*~~

    Things didn't improve for Alan over the coming days, his demeanor growing more depressed. He became distant, keeping to himself as he did when his secret came out. Todd did his best to comfort him, but the goat's efforts proved for naught. Nothing seemed to matter to the human as he roamed the halls in silence, often stopping and staring out in a daze. It was as if he were lost, stumbling through a place beyond his understanding.

He sat out on a bench, maintaining a tired look on his face. The article never left his mind at all, an almost constant reminder of what he found out. He didn't feel pain anymore, just...an emptiness. It felt like there was an absence of something, but he didn't want or even care to find out. A few students passed by, glancing at him but moving on quickly. He didn't pay them any mind, only laying back on the plank of wood and metal with that same bored expression. If anyone looked, they would've thought him to resemble a certain wolf.

Coincidentally, said wolf decided to show his presence.

"Alan-san?", his deep voice broke the human's drifting thoughts. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing.", he didn't even turn to look at Legosi, just responding in a low tone.

"You've been...distant, lately.", the wolf started. "Did something happen?"

"Nothing.", the same response.

He didn't seem to buy it at all, as he was soon standing over him with a concerned look on his face. The two stared at each other in silence, though the tension was starting to build quickly. Alan's eyebrows furrowed slowly, his patience waning like ice in a desert. The wolf didn't relent, though, still looking down at him even as he grew more annoyed. He was starting to see a little truth in Juno's bit about the tall wolf being overbearing.

"Stop...looking at me like that.", he said as he pulled himself up with a sigh. Legosi took a seat beside him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm worried about you, Alan. Jack told me I should talk to you, but I'm not sure what this is all about."

The human sighed deeply, "I found out about something, something involving humans a long time ago. It went wrong and well...lately I've been feeling like the replacement."

"You're not a—"

"Don't feed me that.", he cut him off with a shake of his head. "You can try and spin it whatever way you like, but it's clear to me: They lied about it. They buried it away away and forgot about it until I came here. I'm nothing but a substitute."

None of them knew about An-Man and what happened to it, not that he expected any of them to. It was clearly before their time at Cherryton, maybe even further back than that. It didn't matter to Alan, either way. He felt so used, like he was nothing but a toy for some sick little game being played with everyone. They used him, manipulated him, turned him into a tool so they could succeed where they failed years ago!

"...compared to me, you're nothing!"

He grit his teeth at the memory, Maybe that old bastard was right...

"I really am nothing...", he muttered.

"You're not nothing—"

"Just stop it, Legosi!", Alan snapped as he stood up and glared at the wolf. "This isn't like before. You aren't gonna talk me out of it with some heartfelt speech and deep reasonings! This is beyond that..."

His glare softened, "I'm beyond that. Not a single person here could understand what I'm feeling right now. I don't think even Louis could, if he were here. The only one who could have a ghost of a chance is—"

    He stopped himself, a thought coming to him. He couldn't really do it, could he? He wanted to avoid it from the start, and he instantly rejected it when outright suggested to him! He didn't really have a choice now, did he? If he doesn't, he'll most likely find himself in an endless loop of emptiness and distracting himself. He wouldn't hear the end of it from anyone no matter how hard he'd try to avoid the subject! He sighed heavily and turned, starting off while pulling out his phone.

"W-wait!", Legosi called out. "What're you gonna do?"

"There's only one person I know who can give me the answers I'm looking for,", he looked back briefly.

"And a simple phone call isn't good enough for this."

~~*~~

A.N: Ohh yes~. This chapter and the next two are probably my favorites to write so far. Now that I think about it, Alan never had a complete "crisis" moment. I mean, we kind of had that with his secret coming out and the Shishigumi thing, but I'm thinking more in the vein of something he's connected to rather than being pulled into it.

In the next chapter, well...I'll only say I originally wanted to name it "Daddy's Home", but that joke is probably so overdone that I'd basically be spoon-feeding it.