The Curse of Beasts (BEASTARS)

His Choice

The shift from therapy to physical training was strange to Alan, the human feeling somewhat indifferent to the idea. Sure, he could find a way to better understand his hidden strength, but what use would it have? If he had his way, he'd avoid any confrontation possible. If he were fast enough, he'd run; If he had wings, he'd fly away. The one, brief experience he had made sure to give him those thoughts.

Through Gouhin's suggestion, he went to the library to look into some of the more dangerous carnivores. Lions and felines were the first on his list, for obvious reasons. Other than that, there were bears and wolves among others, though it had more to do with their size than their species. Lions, ironically, are among the strongest, closely followed by tigers. Surprisingly, there are cases of lion-tiger hybrids as well. It didn't seem too far out of the realm of possibility, though.

Bears, as expected, are powerful mainly because of their size. He could remember Riz briefly mentioning how he had to take pills to keep his strength in check— as well as his clichéd solution to the side effects. That gave the human some pause: Just how strong are bears, really? Gouhin probably went through the same thing before he ended up in The Ghetto, but he also mentioned exercising as well. Maybe there was a spectrum to it, depending on the species? Maybe the change is worse for some than others?

He was about to move onto wolves when his phone buzzed.

A message...from his father: "Do you think we could meet again? Sometime after New Year's?"

It was a shock, for sure. It felt like weeks since they met up at the cafe and Alan walked out on him. Why reach out after that, and why now? He was sure with the way it ended, the bridge was non-existent between them! Why would he want to see him again after that? Besides that, New Year's is more than a week away— and that comes with its own problems. It made him angry, this was so sudden with everything else going on. To think he wouldn't have to worry about him!

"But you still stayed with him. That means some part of you cared— and it still cares even now."

Alan furrowed his brow, Why would I care..?

He closed his eyes and sighed before walking into the hall, "I need advice."

~~*~~

"I don't know if I can see him again and not blow up on him. Last time, it took a bit for me to lose my cool— and I could barely hold back once I did!"

The human sighed and leaned against the sink, "With everything else going on, I feel like seeing him would just mess me up more than I already am..."

Rokume was silent for a moment before responding, "It sounds like you resent him a lot."

"'Resent' wouldn't begin to cover it. Whenever I think about him, it makes me more angry than I can admit. He changed everything for both of us...and it'll never be the same."

The snake tilted her head slightly, "Do you think you could ever see him differently than you do now? Move past your hatred for him?"

He opened his mouth to answer but frowned, "I...don't know. I keep saying that I'll never forgive him, but I don't even know if I'll be away from him in the future. If I leave, it'll be tense— and if I stay, he could reach out like now and it would just go from there..."

"And either way, you'd still be angry.", she finished for him.

Rokume didn't know all the details behind Alan's relationship with his father, but it clearly wasn't good. The expression on his face showed disdain, but also conflict. If he really wanted to leave his father's request unanswered, he wouldn't have come for help. Part of him wants to go— whether out of hope or simple curosity, it was unclear. The human may have a large amount of hate for his father, but even a glimmer of hope for something better would threaten to override it all.

And if that hope was proved wrong...

"It's not an easy choice to make, under your circumstances...", the snake started gently. "But you don't have to decide right away. Wait until everything else is done, then try to consider it."

Alan looked away briefly, "What if it doesn't go well? What if I snap again? It could be so much worse than—"

He found his chin gently pushed up, quieting him.

Rokume smiled, "Take your time. You don't have to consider everything at once, just start off small and work your way up. If you can't avoid snapping, you can at least control what goes on between you."

Alan still looked apprehensive but sighed, "I can probably wait until New Year's to think about it. I have other things to worry about now."

"Like whether you want to stay here?"

"That's one of them...but there are others."

~~*~~

A.N: Good GOD! What the hell did I do?!

Okay, developments happened and I wanted to get chapters written before I released more. Good news: I'm starting the (not) final fight. Bad news...I'm starting the (not) final fight! Also, reading it in manga and turning it into a written story is a lot harder than I thought— like trying to reach a bridge between it being rushed or overly exaggerated...

But we're here! After this, I'm gonna post the next chapter early tomorrow before the ball drops and get to work on the ones after. If it all goes well, I'll finish this before January ends— and boy will I be happy this monstrosity is finished!

Putting that aside, here's to 2023– where my sanity will hopefully improve.