Guilty All The Same (English)

21 - Introspection

Thinking back to Ferid's words only made her more uneasy, no matter how hard she had tried not to pay attention to them for the rest of the day. She bit her lip before going back to brushing her hair.

He was always thirsty for her.

A shiver ran through her.

And how long would it be before his predatory instincts overrode his reason? The perfect vampire had lost control once before, but she tried to banish that memory from her mind. It wouldn't help her get back to her room where Ferid was waiting.

She smiled. That was what the thought of spending the night in his arms felt like. It made her smile almost unconsciously. And she took that as a plus point for her situation.

She looked at the reflection of her figure in the mirror and wondered what had caused the vampire to approach her. She sighed.

What about her? What had made her fall in love with him? She closed her eyes.

It was a question of how he made her feel, how she felt when she was with him, maybe even how she could change when she was around him. It was a bit as if she no longer felt things in the world, as if nothing could touch her, though she was certain that this was not simply due to her presence or being with him but was more to do with how he made her feel in his presence, in an almost isolated state. It was a condition of magical isolation from the rest of the world. Surely this also affected her whole situation.

And yet she did not mind living like this, after all she had never enjoyed the company of people, perhaps because she had never really felt attached to anyone. That is why being alone or not had often been indifferent to her. And now the situation had not changed much all things considered. Only that in this case her contacts were very limited.

She remembered the day when the red-haired vampire had come to Ferid's, accompanied by a couple of vampires she had assumed to be his friends. That was the only time she had ever had a longer conversation with anyone other than Ferid. A conversation in which she had felt more like an object than anything else. Because that was how she was supposed to appear to a vampire and how she had been seen by the two of them, whereas with Ferid it seemed that things were different. Very. He seemed to see in her what no other person had ever seen. Someone to love and share the days with.

That's what she could see in Ferid. Something she had never seen in anyone else.

Ferid absent-mindedly leafed through the book Yurika kept on the coffee table, uncertain what to do. He had thought about being found naked in bed by the girl. Just to see what kind of reaction it might provoke in her.

It would certainly have been a lot of fun, but it would also have been too exaggerated. At least as far as he could tell. Could it still be the remnants of that horrible day?

It was amazing how he, accustomed to committing the worst crimes, cared about what a mere human might or might not think. He laughed at that thought.

As if Yurika was a mere human to him. No, she was much more than that to him.

That was why that gesture still weighed so heavily on his conscience, if he still had any remnants of conscience. Who knows, maybe he was being influenced too much by that event, after all he wasn't the only one who longed for their kisses, of course, Yurika had never made the first move, she had never taken the initiative to kiss him, yet he could sense how much the girl loved those moments, he could sense it from how her body reacted and not only to the kiss. The redness on her cheeks, but above all the beating of her heart was for him a clear indication of what was going on in the girl's head and heart.

Her body never denied the vampire's touch, never shied away from it. Not anymore. But there was something stirring in her. And he could clearly sense that, too. Like the first time they had slept together, and he had held her close, he had noticed the initial tension in her body, but then she had been able to relax.

Ferid's dilemma was to understand why she seemed so uncomfortable in those certain situations. Perhaps it was his being a vampire that was putting a damper on the girl and making her perceive things differently. After all, he must have been a monster to her by nature, so certain reactions could not surprise him that much. But it was also true that they were something else, yes, a couple.

He closed the book abruptly and glanced towards the bathroom door. How long did it take her to get ready? He thought back amused at the idea of the bed. It was way too much.

"Sorry Ferid, I was lost in thoughts." The vampire turned in her direction. "Well, I'll remind you that you're the one who actually needs to sleep between us." "R-right... Can I get into bed? I'm so tired." "At your command." In the blink of an eye, he went to slip under the covers.

Yurika laughed but had a moment of hesitation. The thought of what Ferid might want to do didn't leave her entirely, but the desire to snuggle back into his arms was also very strong in her.

Even the vampire had noticed that moment of hesitation as if to confirm his train of thought. Yurika still didn't seem to be entirely comfortable around him and that saddened him. He wished he had her full trust. That there were no impediments between them.

The girl slipped under the covers but kept some distance from the vampire. Then she took courage. "May I come closer?" Ferid smiled at that request, but it was he who moved closer to her, wrapping his arms around her body. Yurika for her part moved closer to him, leaning against his chest. "Thank you," she whispered.

"What do you think, my little lamb, that I don't enjoy holding you?" The girl didn't answer but pressed herself closer to him. She too would have liked to stay like this forever, hugging each other regardless of the rest.

16/04/2021