Guilty All The Same (English)

9-Maybe

When she woke up it was difficult to understand how much and if she had really slept: her sleep wasn't quite. Above all, she had no idea what time it was, her room in the darkness and not a glimmer of light could be seen. She stayed quiet trying to perceive the presence of someone in the shadows, then she turned on the light. She took a brief look at the room and sighed, happy to be alone. Her gaze was drawn to the table in the corner of the room above which therr was a tray with her breakfast. This meant that someone had entered the room while she was sleeping and she knew that this someone could only be Ferid. She thought that the vampire would't allow anyone else to approach her, it was clear that she had become some kind of personal possession for him and that gestures like bringing her breakfast were stratagems used by the vampire to bring hee to do what he wished. Yurika was disgusted, this was the treatment for a pet, even if her case was more the one of a livestock. She moved to the table ready to enjoy her breakfast. While she was eating her mind was suddenly crossed by another thought: she knew that one day, more likely than not, she would have allowed the vampire to drink her blood. And she wouldn't have done it because she wanted to, but to follow her stupid survival instinct, and yet what gripped her mind was something else. What would have happened if the vampire had gotten tired of her? It wasn't very hard to imagine: he would have killed her, probably bleeding her dry. She struggled to bring down the last piece of food she had in her mouth. She bit her lip looking around. How long would it last before she went crazy in that hole? She stood up and went to the bedside table, where she stroked with her fingers the cover of the book she had taken from the vampire's library. She sighed, remembering that reading it was the only thing she could do. She returned to the table, immersing herself in the reading.

"Good morning, my little lamb." Yurika shivered feeling the vampire's breath on her neck. She let go of the book. She sensed the figure of the vampire moving around and watched him with the tail of her eyes as he sat on the chair in front of her. She slowly looked up at him. Ferid looked at her amusedly. She felt mortified. "Oh... Come on, Yurika. Don't look at me like that. Whether you like it or not, you'll have to get used to me being there. And try to be careful when you're handling my books. These are all precious tomes that I care about a lot. If it had fallen, I wouldn't have been happy about it." he said. Yurika remained silent. "Did you bring me breakfast?" she asked. "And who else?" He smiled at her. "You're very nice while you're sleeping." The girl blushed. "May I ask you something Yurika?" She looked at him. "Why do you keep your hair like this? I've already told you, they look better loose." "I prefer it that way." "Too bad." whispered the vampire. Ferid stared again at the girl who, on time, looked down. She was still afraid, even though she was used to fighting with monsters like him very often. He dwelt once again on her neck, passing his tongue on his fangs, eager to sink them into her flesh. He wasn't lying when he said that her blood was delicious, although he had to admit that the effect it had on him was very different from what he had imagined. He usually preferred the blood of younger people, especially children, and, however rewarding a girl's blood might be, he had never preferred it to that of a child, now he would have gladly given up on it in order to have Yurika's blood. In order to sink his teeth into her soft neck, but not only that. He would have liked to do more with her. On the other hand, he couldn't deny that she was attractive, it was a real shame that she chose to wear such a covering dress. He sighed and forced himself to curb these thoughts. He didn't have to run too fast or he would have risked to loose his composure. He knew that everything would come at its time and that patience would always reward him. Yurika started to feel particularly uncomfortable: it had been a while since Ferid kept staring at her without saying anything and she was sure that her face had turned red. He probably enjoyed seeing her like that, completely powerless. She continued to stare at her hands, hoping that this embarrassing situation would end as soon as possible. "How is the reading of the book going, do you find it interesting? Did you find what you were looking for?" "No.... Well it is, yes." The girl was taken by surprise. "What do you mean?" The vampire asked her kindly.  "Sorry, I meant the book is very interesting, but I didn't find what I was looking for. Not yet." "Don't beat yourself up, my dear. You can't expect to get everything right now, some things take time, but... Yurika, would you be so kind to look at me when I speak?" The girl hastened to lift her eyes. "Oh. That's better. What was I saying? Sure, can I know what you're hoping to find?" Yurika grazed her eyes. Could she really tell him what her goal was? "It's complicated." She simply said. "Try explaining it to me." The vampire spurred her on. Yurika sighed, thinking that she had nothing to lose after all. The only thing she was worried about was the vampire's thoughts. Would he ever believe what she was about to reveal to him? "I'd like to free my demon." There was a brief moment of silence. "I'm afraid I didn't really understand." In fact, Ferid had understood very well, and that was the problem. Maybe the girl didn't mean what he thought. "I would like to find a way to free the demon from the curse that binds him to the weapon..." "You dream too much. It's not possible to do such a thing." He was just trying to make the girl more reactive. "There must be a way." "What if there isn't?" The vampire's last words sounded like a death sentence in Yurika's heart. Ferid noticed the sudden change in the girl. The light that just before illuminated her eyes had gone. He had to take advantage of it. "Why would you want to do such a thing? What's in it for you?" Yurika was again surprised by the question, realizing that it was the first time she had talked about the subject with someone other than Kurena. "What's wrong with that?" She asked hesitantly. Everything. Thought Ferid, "You didn't answer my question." Yurika bit her lip. "It's not right for her to be imprisoned in that sword." "But it's a demon." said the vampire. "That's the place it deserves." But the girl's response shocked him. "So you wouldn't try something to get free if you became a demon suddenly trapped? If there was even a small chance... Wouldn't you like to find a way to run away?" Yurika remembered too late that it would be better for her not to have problems with the vampire, but this time she was the one surprised by the answer of the vampire. "Who are you talking about, Yurika?" For a moment the girl swore she had seen the vampire's look sweeten. "Of the demon..." Ferid smiled at her. "Are you sure you're not talking about yourself? That you're not the one who want to escape?" And Yurika's heart lost a beat to this statement and for a long moment she never stopped looking the vampire in the eyes. Ferid smiled, more to himself than to the girl, this was the confirmation that he had reached the point. And he was certain that Yurika did not expect something like that from him. In fact, the girl had never thought about it, she had never seen her situation in this light. "And what should I have escaped from?" She asked with her voice reduced to a faint whisper. "You should explain this to me, Yurika. I certainly don't know that." Ferid answered with a velvety voice. Yurika blushed, but what was she doing? "But how was your first night here? Did you sleep well?" The girl looked at him with surprise. Why the sudden change of subject in the conversation? To satisfy him, she produced a "yes" of response. Ferid was delighted to see the girl's desolate face, but he was also happy to have been able to make progress in the conversation with her, he was happy that the girl was somehow cooperative with him. At least Yurika was trying to stay calm, while his victims were usually too scared to talk to him or to contradict him, while things were going differently with her. For a moment he wondered if he could make her tremble with fear and consequently obedient and helpful. He hoped to succeed as soon as possible in it because the desire to sink his canines in her neck was particularly urgent. Who knows, perhaps because this time he had already had the opportunity to taste the delicious liquid that flowed into the veins of the girl. It's a shame it hadn't lasted so long. "Maybe the bed is uncomfortable?" The vampire dared, even though he knew that the bed was the last of the problems for the girl. "No..." Whispered Yurika. "Is it my fault, then?" Yurika bit her lip, it seemed that Ferid was at least aware of her difficulties and at that point a doubt began to arise. The vampire not only seemed to understand her, but more than anything else he knew how to deal with her. He knew what to say at the right time. Always. Obviously he was used to these situations, this could mean that before her he could have had other 'victims'. She shuddered at the thought of it. "My dear, are you all right? You look pale." "Were there other girls?" Yurika saw Ferid's eyes harden for a brief moment and despite the fact that it had lasted just over a fraction of a second, her blood had frozen in her veins, but Ferid had immediately returned to his usual facade. "Obviously." The calm with which he uttered that word completely disarmed the girl. "And what happened to them?" The vampire thought for a moment before answering. "You see, Yurika, unfortunately you can be victim of unpleasant accidents..." The girl horrified and understood the meaning of those words. "That could easily happen to me too." She whispered, but she was more to herself than to the vampire. "Oh, but that's not necessarily true, you know? After all, no one can predict how things will go, but I'm convinced that everything will go very well between us." The girl gulped, not at all agreeing with the words of the vampire. How could things have gone well with them? After all, she was just a toy in the hands of a monster. "Come on. It's time to stop thinking only negatively. Today I have the day off. I'll take you on a full tour of the house, shall we, little lamb?" "I don't have a choice." She replied. The vampire took her to most of the rooms in the house and noticed that, as in her room, many other places in the house had no windows and, where they were, were hidden behind thick curtains. Yurika had thought it was rather strange to have a library the size of the one she had seen the day before, but that place had more surprises in store. On the first floor, where her room was, there were a number of bedrooms and the vampire explained to her that they were used to accommodate his guests, even if it was rare for someone to stop. While walking, Ferid had moved his arm over the girl's shoulders, leaving her astonished. How he dared to do this? She glanced briefly at the vampire and Ferid lowered his red eyes at her. "Are you all right?" Yurika looked down. "I'd rather you... You wouldn't..." She felt the vampire's hand detach from her to rest on her waist. "Is that better?" He whispered in her ear. A cold shiver crossed her back. "I'd rather you didn't touch me." "Does it bother you so much?" "A little." And she bit her lip, hoping that the vampire wouldn't get too angry. Ferid pushed the arm away from the girl's body. Yurika took a breath of relief. "Thank you." Yurika didn't like this kind of thing very much, perhaps because she wasn't used to being in touch with other people, especially if it was someone of the other sex. It stirred her up and, in a way, annoyed her. She wasn't exactly used to being 'touched'. The vampire continued the tour of the house trying not to bother with that episode, even if he didn't think he was doing anything wrong. He took the girl downstairs from the large staircase leading to the entrance hall, explaining to her that it was a ballroom with a piano in one corner. Yurika was attracted to the instrument and wondered if the vampire could play it. "Ferid?" "Tell me." "Can you play it?" "Obviously. And I can also dance. Maybe I can teach you one day. It could be fun." The girl looked at him surprised. She didn't expect a vampire to know how to do things as refined as dancing and playing, but the biggest surprise came when the vampire, after showing her a huge dining room, took her to the kitchen. "If you want to be here, you can devote yourself to cooking." "Oh..." whisper Yurika. "I don't know if that's a good idea." Ferid laughed. "Let me guess. you can't cook?" The girl blushed. "Actually, I've never tried..." "Don't worry, my little lamb. That's why I'm here." That surprised her. A vampire who could cook, who knows what else he was hiding. Maybe, after all, Ferid wasn't as inhumane as she thought he was.

28/04/2019