Guilty All The Same (English)

35 - Reconciliation

He had been staring at an imprecise spot between him and the desk for almost half an hour.

It was what he had always wanted, what he had been waiting for years. A lifetime.

Yet his reaction was not the one he had always fantasised about.

He sighed.

He and Yurika had argued enough about that matter the day before. To go back to rub in it so soon would only lead to further conflict. Further tensions and misunderstandings.

Was this what you get when you try to reconcile two opposing worlds? Was it impossible?

He had also stayed close to the girl during the past night, but his arms had not held her. He had deduced that, for once, it would be better to let her breathe. She needed it.

He'd waited for her to wake up so she wouldn't feel abandoned again, but he hadn't allowed himself to be too soft. None at all.

Then Krul's call to his office.

It was now official. There was a date and the war against the humans would begin.

"Be sure to pay attention to your fiancée." The queen had added before ending the conversation.

How he hated that situation he had gotten himself into with his own hands.

That's what happened when you don't stick to your plans, the unexpected happens.

He remembered, pounding in his head, the words of accusation Yurika had hurled at him the day before.

If he had come to her with the official news of the war, their fragile balance would have been shattered again. It was to be expected, but the very idea that Krul might repeat a visit like last time terrified him.

He was uncertain what to do.

Present the news to her, assuming she would follow him? Or give her the chance to choose, to make her understand that her opinion counted for him too?

It did not take long to guess which would be the best solution.

He had to build his relationship with the girl, not destroy it.

Yurika flipped through the pages of the book with little interest, unable to focus on what was written there. She had momentarily abandoned her research projects in favour of lighter reading, but in her current state, she would even struggle to follow the plot of the Taketori Monogatari.

She and Ferid had settled the dispute, but something all too tangible remained in the air.

Like the fact that he had not yet touched her, not even for a kiss. She would never have said it, but yet she missed his touch. It had only taken her a few hours to go through withdrawal.

What a laugh. Underneath it all, that vampire had her in his grasp like no one ever had before. As if she'd ever been under the spell of love.

She was so busy staring blankly at a page of the text that she didn't even notice her beloved vampire had entered the room.

Ferid smiled as he saw her pretending to be absorbed in a random text. His not-so-hidden predator side liked to see her jerk whenever he came out of nowhere. In a normal prey he would have read fear, anxiety. He had also partly sensed them in her eyes long ago, but not anymore. There was always surprise, but it was accompanied by happiness. Seeing her eyes light up was one of the best sights she gave him. Even though he might not have been able to admire the longed-for reaction that day.