countdown | huang renjun

❥ 21

Sooyun couldn't help but stare in horror as she looked at the message she didn't send to Renjun. Horror spread through her whole body as she tried to swallow the feeling. Paralyzing her with worry, she desperately tried to explain the situation but it seemed to be too late as she attempted to send another message, only to be shown with the blocked message.

Renjun had spontaneously blocked her after he had seen the message. He didn't know why he was so broken after a single message that could've been an accident.

Don't freak out, it was probably an accident, right?

Sooyun attempted to assure herself but it didn't help as the discomfort to her pain continued pulsing through her veins, like they were turning to stone. Her quick breaths came back as she recalled the sleepless nights before she met Renjun.

I don't want to go back to that.

She was completely fine with it before but now, she couldn't even bear the thought of spending another night like that now that she got to experience how fun life could be.

No, no, no, please don't leave me.

Reaching for a pillow, Sooyun stuffed the pillow into her face, trying to block out the tears that were running down her face.

It was silent despite all the tears. She didn't sniffle, nor did she move.
The pillow was already stained with salt from the nights she had spent crying before she had met Renjun. He was able to change her without actually changing her personality.

He had successfully made her life much better than the dull hours of daylight, college, sleep and her personal life blending together with tears into a wet, grey shade that only reflected her face that she couldn't fix with any amount of makeup.

She wanted to stay in this world, the world where she could look forward to something, where she had the ability to truly smile, one that wasn't made up of the dark eyes, even the white color that surrounded her iris somber and muted into a pale shade of off-white. The shade wasn't one that she loved, it was pale, too pale, too...off.

In this world was a world where people would hug and comfort her, giving her something to lean on. In this world, she didn't have to stand alone, she didn't have to feel alone even though there were so many people around her. In this world, she could laugh at the smallest things and fall asleep to the sound of her friend working.

Good things are temporary.

That quote hit harder now that she was weak and stuck in this situation. Was it right? Was the world she wanted to stay in purely a dreamland that she could never keep no matter how hard she tried to keep it? Was this all just a tiny break from everything. It was like being on a spaceship, that life before. Like passing by a planet to explore, only having to leave days later, going back to floating through the infinite galaxy with no end.

She hated that feeling, but maybe it was all just a small gasp of air before she dropped into the ocean again.

>>><<<

Renjun's condition wasn't much better either as he put his phone face down onto the wooden bedside table, unknowingly blocking the girl.

In reality, it was all a misunderstanding.

Soulmates...he had originally thought the concept was just some stupid thing that he could just ignore but all his worries proved to be useless when he had actually met the girl.

Why was he feeling so sad yet so emotionless at the same time? He had absolutely no answer for it. Renjun felt like he wanted to cry, yet he also couldn't get the tears out. He squeezed the fabric, trying to get the pain out through hurting something lifeless.

Usually, he would've chuckled at the joke but the laugh was painfully caught at his throat, only able to let it out in a croak that sounded vaguely like a sound somebody in distress would make rather than a genuine laugh that would ring out through his room.

Why was he reacting like this? He had no idea.

It wasn't a big deal, right?

At least that's what his head told him firmly, trying to convince him of it. His heart was telling him the exactly opposite. There was nothing he was able to do about it.

Isn't this a bit too dramatic?

He shook his head at himself, attempting to chuckle, or at least let out a dry chuckle.
Renjun picked up his phone once more, seeing his conversation with Sooyun. As he saw the bright red blocked message that engraved into his vision, the screen pixelating and blurring amidst his dizziness, he immediately put his phone back down, flipping onto his back to face the ceiling once again.

No, no, no, Sooyun thinks I'm mad at her.

He couldn't bring himself to unblock her in worry of what she was thinking right now. What she would say to him if she was mad at him for everything.

But it isn't your fault.

Renjun couldn't help but blame himself for everything, trying to shift the blame away from the person that he wanted to engulf in a hug, to have that soulmate feeling spread through him once again

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GUYS IM SO SORRY FOR BEING SO LATE:

uh so I sorta got stuck on this chapter and how to write it. I was focusing more on another piece of writing ahem pls check out weyoungjisung

so yeah I just got stuck on what to do plus school came back

again, sorrry