TURN BACK THE TIME, BABE. BOOK 2. KINGS WILL BE CROWNED (ENGLISH VERSION)

CAN'T YOU SEE I'M MR. MERCURY?

I was so thrilled being able to attend the larger-than-life Christmas Eve show at the Hammersmith Odeon. It was a very noteworthy event in Queen's career and I had lost count of how often I had watched it in different formats. From YouTube to several versions on DVD. I knew it by heart, however I'd been looking forward to being present there. Watching them live couldn't compare to anything else in this world.

When I came back to London after some days in Birmingham, already healed my homesickness though in an artificial way, I found a pile of postcards in my letterbox.

I couldn't believe it. The convoluted and unique Freddie's handwriting was in the other side of all. At least there were ten. From Scottish pastoral landscapes, where they had been playing; Aberdeen, Glasgow, till a drawing of The little rat looking at the mirror.

The postcards were all freaker than the last. There was poetry, absurd, sentimental drawings in the corners. And then the short texts which could afford a tiny postcard. But flaming like a dynamite charge.

"My mousy, so sorry about the other day. Sometimes I'm so extremely evil as a damn snake. I adore and miss you. Your Freddie".

On reading that postcard, my hair stood on end because it was devilishly similar to the one he sent to David Minns and I had seen it in his biography. In that one he almost apologized for being an awful tart. Would he write that postcard to his David or I was going to get that passionate letter never took place?

I spent hours reading those little romantic postcards and I noticed I fell in a deeper and deeper spiral of affection towards him. I couldn't do anything, how was I suppose to reject him or trying to reason with him? If he needed me, what should I do? It looked like I was born for him. To be always there whenever he wanted me. The enigma was always the same. His boyfriend David Minns.

16th December had passed, the second concert in Glasgow and last of the British tour. They were returning London and had just one week to rehearse the Hammersmith show. Then they would have to recharge their batteries and rehearse new material for the American tour, with the time that before they lacked.

I thought Freddie would knock at my door like a wild horse but that didn't happen. They had come back London some days ago. I barely came out of my house, waiting his visit sooner or later. I waited for him docile and meekly on bed imagining how would it sink under the weight of our bodies and how would they mix the annoying noises of the bedspring with our own animal noises.

Freddie was playing with me so clearly and I didn't notice. I didn't notice loving him like that could take its toll on me and what's more important, I would be a clumsy mole in this mission again. He would blind myself and wipe away my perception, it was hard to breathe without him around.

But again getting away and keeping a low profile wasn't the wayout either. My place was where he was. That rocky and steep slope to the abbys didn't make sense but, what should I do?

I had a meeting with Mary at Holland Road. Meeting her and keeping in touch balanced me in a way, made me recover the pulse of my mission. When I'd been days without seeing Freddie, I tended to get paranoid, to lose the rhythm of my mission which neuralgic centre was him and always him. Fooling was always advising me to strengthen as far as possible his more intimate circle that was an extension of him. I couldn't have Freddie all the time but I did have a diverse catalogue of people and I was trying to work on it. Go on being an important part of them to go on being an important part of him.

Mary helped me and tortured me also because my guilty feelings always bruised me a little. Although I was repeating myself all the time that in my last meetings with Freddie they weren't already a couple, that didn't excuse me from the numerous times we had been disloyal to her. He as her boyfriend and I as her friend.