As I used to do with Freddie lately, I acted and then gave it a think. I couldn't tell him I promised go on tour and then swallow my words. But thinking over it I felt myself sick. It came to my mind all the negative things of that experience: my almost rape with those wild roadies, getting incredibly drunk and turning me into a parody of myself, the strong desire of cocaine entering my nose, the occasionally feeling of being a body thrown into a stormy sea. A body sinking beneath the water and getting on the surface but each time the minutes under water lasted longer, testing my lungs.
I wasn't capable to focus in all the positive things of touring. In the shows, the shared experiences with the band and the frienship and becoming friendly with them. In Freddie's swollen feet over my lap that hot day in New Orleans, his jam session of Leroy Brown in that jazz club, my first time with him and the overwhelming shiverings, all we built on that tour.
I turned around to his demi hidden face against the pillow not believing yet he was mine. I had many doubts about how would work the mission now on. I needed to talk to Fooling.
It's been three weeks since our last speech. Just since New Years Eve and all that Freddie had unleashed. From then on, all my life went upside down.
There was no room for anybody else. My only interest was him and whatever he could motivate him. The rest disappeared all of a sudden. I stumbled out of bed leaving Freddie peacefully asleep looking like a huge baby.
The first thing I had to do was charging my long forgotten phone. I came up to the bath to plug it trying not make any noise. It was cold in this early morning and I wrapped around a blanket waiting for the needed charge to make my Huaweii to work again.
I sat down on the edge of the bathtub and I made a rough estimate of my three weeks to 2020 time. It was five hours passed since the last time.
- Black, is something wrong?
- No... well, yes.
- Are you ok?
- Yes. What's up?
- I would tell you before if I had had the chance.
- What's happened?
- Alex is in coma.
- What are you saying?
I checked out he changed the writing format and started to record an audio and everything became a haze.
When I woke up from my faint I lied on the floor with a bleedy wound on the right part of my forehead. The first thing I saw was Freddie over me slapping my face.
- God, thank goodness you are awake. I've called the ambulance. It's coming right away. Darling, you could have broken your neck. What's happened?
I looked at my phone lying on the floor and I reached out to take it.
- Will you leave that rubbish in peace? Let's get dressed.
I couldn't utter a single word. I was dumbfounded. The faint, the blow and what Fooling said to me, I couldn't stand upright.
Freddie dressed me naturally with the first clothes he found and he dressed himself. He watched me worried asking me all the time how I was. I couldn't even speak out my feelings.
- Am I hurting you? -the nurse asked me lovingly.
I couldn't stop from crying so it was obvious she thought the stitches were beating the daylights out of me.
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