Err on the Side of Violence: Terribly Acronymed Detective Club Series (Book 3)

Chapter Forty-Three: Rachel, Friday

"What. The fuck. Is this?" Lauren asked.

Rachel looked over to where Lauren was looking. The woman who just entered the pool area reminded her of Red Sonja, the fictional female barbarian popular in the Seventies and Eighties, counterpart to Conan; her image graced the sides of vans and heavy metal album covers the world over. Rachel remembered when she played Dungeons and Dragons with her friends at Burnaby South High School; the image of the voluptuous and fierce female, able to swing a sword with size double-Ds covered only by the smallest plates of armour, had been common on the pages of the rule books, the assumption being that young masturbatory men were the only ones playing Dungeons and Dragons. At the time it had amused her, but remembering back she could see why all four of her friends had fallen in love with her, picturing her in that little metal bikini, and she felt offended for her teenage self. The fact that one of them had ended up being her first male sexual partner was incidental; that had been later, once he'd moulted into the image of a man who could have also graced those pages.

The woman walking toward them did not have double-Ds, but her tall, muscular figure and her fiery red hair would not have been out of place on those album covers and vans, and what breasts she did have hid behind just as flimsy armour. Her purple bikini should have gotten her banned for indecency, because she was attracting the eyes of every man, and many women, in the pool. Heck, Rachel was looking at her and feeling things she probably shouldn't have been feeling. First Lauren, then the makeout session with Tej, and now this... God, maybe she was bisexual.

"Fucking Joanie is here?" Lauren said in disbelief.

"It appears so," Rachel said. "Could it be a coincidence?"

"It fucking isn't," Lauren hissed. "And here I thought Joe and I might try to reconnect this weekend, when all along she was coming up here and he never fucking told me about it?"

"No, that is not cool," Rachel said, but she couldn't take her eyes off this warrior goddess, who was now slipping into the deeper end of the pool and dunking herself under, emerging with her hair streaming out behind her. She created a magnetic field wherever she went; people arranged themselves around her like iron filings, pointing in the same direction, and when she swam-walked up to the two of them lounging against the side of the pool, the eyes fell on all three of them. She might have felt flattered or creeped out, but she knew her dark green tankini, a near twin of Lauren's (they'd shopped for them together and had a brief fumble in the change room) wasn't what was attracting their gazes. Why was Joanie coming to them? Was it because if she went up to Joe, who was gaping at her from the other end of the pool where he was frolicking with the kids, she might cause a scandal?

"Hi, Lauren!" Joanie said a little too brightly. "And Rachel, hi! Fancy meeting you here!"

"Really?" Lauren said, eyes wide in barely suppressed rage. "You're really going with the narrative of the chance meeting?"

Rachel suddenly wished she were anywhere else, but she stayed to be there for her best friend and lover. "Wow, Joanie," she said awkwardly. "You look amazing." She didn't know what else to say, and already she felt like a traitor.

Joanie blushed and said, "Oh, thank you. But you two look great, too. I like your suits. Very sleek."

"Uh-huh," Lauren said dryly. 

"So, hey, I heard Logan is out of jail and free of any suspicion," Joanie said to Rachel, sensing a more receptive audience. 

Rachel cleared her throat and said, "Yes, we thought this vacation would be a way of celebrating and, you know, we wanted to be with Lauren's family for a fun long weekend; Tosh wanted to see the sand sculpture competition. We saw a little of it on the beach when we pulled in here."