The Writer (AU)

Chapter Forty

"Harry," I groaned, trying not to cry. "I don't want to do this."

"I'm gonna die anyway, this is just practice."

"I don't wanna think like that."

"Will you just read, babe?" he pleaded, pouting.

"You stole this from The Fault In Our Stars."

"So? I wanna hear how great you think I am."

"You didn't give me enough time."

"You had three days, I'm not that great," he grinned.

"Oh my baby, you are though," I sighed, kissing him softly. "The things I do for you."

"That's why I love you." Sitting up, I grabbed my purse and pulled the folded sheets of paper from it.

"I'm gonna cry so don't hate me."

"I'd never hate you," he murmured, kissing my temple.

My throat was already feeling thick. "The first thing I noticed about him was his warmth. Standing near him was like standing next to the sun. And it didn't matter that he always shined brighter than me. I felt so warm in his presence that I let myself get trapped in his orbit because he made me swear I'd never feel cold again." I wasn't sure if I could finish. After a few minutes, I sighed and continued.

"The second thing I noticed about him was the way he laughed. It came spilling out of his mouth, overflowing, his parting lips a broken dam but instead of water rushing out there is joy. It's the kind of laugh I could feel wash over me from across the room. I would spend the next hour trying to think of ways to make him laugh just so I could feel it again." I began to cry and Harry's thumb ran along my cheekbone.

"The third thing I noticed about him was his hands. He told me when he was born that his grandmother said he had "piano fingers." He'd look down and mention he'd always been self conscious about the way his middle fingers were crooked. He'd point at something out the window and I'd realize my eyes didn't even make it to the glass - they stopped at the curve of his wrist, the smoothness of his palm, the crooked grace of those piano fingers. The fourth thing I noticed - he always smelt a little like vanilla. The fifth thing - he laughed in the space between his words in nearly every sentence. The sixth thing - a mole on the curve of his lower back," I sighed, the tears now streaming down my cheeks.

"The seventh thing - I was, still am, and always will be in love with him. And it was like loving something on fire; warm, full of light, always shifting and moving. I didn't smother him because I was scared of the way he might burn me. I put my hand on his cheek, ran my fingers through his hair and let the fire consume me. We burned so much brighter together." I took a minute to compose myself, trying to find my voice to finish it.

"Harry, my love, how I wish we could've had more days together. The days we did have make up for that and I know that one day I will see you again." He wrapped his arms around me and held me tight against him. His skin was warm for the first time in a while and I relished in it.

"I love you so much, Ellie. That's why I wanna ask you something."

"Anything," I breathed, looking up at him.

"Close your eyes." Closing them, I took a deep breath and wiped the remaining tears. He felt around under his pillow and let out a breath before I felt him kiss my forehead.

"Open." There was a wide smile on his face and I looked down at his hand, my eyes widening.

"Don't do this to me," I cried, more tears coming out.

"I know you hate surprises, but you can't hate me. So, my darling, will you make me the happiest person in the universe and marry me?" Taking the ring from the box, I slid it on to my finger.

"Yes. A million, billion, trillion times yes," I sobbed, smiling as he hugged and kissed me. He laughed. A real laugh that I hadn't heard in so long. I pulled away. Looking at him. His eyes with dark bags under them, were brighter than ever before and I put my forehead to his.

"I love you. I love you so much."

"I love you, too." I couldn't help but cry more as I said the words. Harry coughed quietly and I adjusted my weight more on the bed instead of him and I don't know how long we sat there, holding each other. Getting up after what seemed like years, I helped Harry down the stairs and into the kitchen.

"Hello darlings," Anne smiled widely standing over the stove.

"Hi," I beamed.

"So I was thinking you two could go out ton-"

"Mom," Harry interrupted. "I did it."

"You did?!" We both nodded and I held out my hand.

"I'm so happy for you two!" she squealed, hugging me tightly. Through dinner, that was all we talked about.

However, good things inevitably come to an end.