Never the Right Time

Chapter 20 Sophia POV

For a few weeks, I only saw Mark in class and we never really had time to talk about everything that was going on. It was as though he realized that I needed space to process everything and he needed to sort his shit out. He looked constantly stressed and I always had the urge to comfort him, but never really knew what to say to comfort him and just ended up feeling useless.

A little over a month went by like this. It broke my heart to see him like this. Before class I turned to him,

"Hey what are you doing this weekend?" I asked

He looked at me confused. " I have Saturday off of work. So I am free then."

"Movie night?"

He looked at me with his eyebrows raise. "Really?" He asked incredulously.

"Yes, you look ridiculously stressed and its breaking my heart. I promised I would be there for you and it feels like I am letting you down." I explained, "Also I miss you. Things have sucked with you so stressed.

His disbelief melted from his face and he looked relieved. "I missed you too. I've wanted to tell you everything that is going on, but thought it wasn't fair to do that to you."

"Not gonna lie, it sucks so much, but I need you at a friend over everything else. So I'll take what I can get at this point. So come over at 7ish?"

He gave me a genuine smile and nodded, "Yea definitely! I've got to go, but I'll see you on Saturday."

"Can't wait!" I said as I walked away.

Saturday rolled around and in purposely didn't tell my roommates that Mark was coming over. They were going to a party that night anyways, so it worked out. I didn't need the lecture. I knew I was playing with fire, but I had really missed just goofy around with him. Maybe we could get back to that. I cringed at how stupidly hopeful I was. I really want to prove my friends and myself wrong. We could get back to that. If I tell myself that over and over again maybe it'll actually be true.

He showed up a little after 7 in jeans and a white shirt. It took everything I had not to drool even a little bit. All I wanted to do was run my fingers through his hair. I shook my thoughts from my head as I followed him up to my room.

He collapsed on the bed immediately.

"Soph! He groaned, "Everything sucks so much!"

"I'm sorry buddy" I sat down next to him and tried to console him by patting his back. "What is going on?"

"Well her parents still hate me for starters. Then after that weekend blew up, we actually were able to sit down and talk about everything. She wanted to get back together." He said throwing his hands in the air like it was crazy thing to want.

"and you don't right?" I asked hesitantly

"No! We were awful together especially towards the end. I always had this weird situation with you and she made out with a couple random guys at the end. It's not right."

"That's reasonable. It's not like you're planning on ever leaving her high and dry."

"No I would never do that!" He almost yelled. He realized he was getting worked up and took a deep breathe. " I thought she was ok with my explanation. I told her I wouldn't date because that's not fair to her right now. She seemed to accept it, but come to find out, she is pissed and is trying to give me the cold shoulder. Her life isn't the only one changing and is starting to blame me for literally everything. This is exactly why I didn't want to get back together in the first place. We aren't good together." He let out a huge breathe "Sorry for the rant. I'm literally changing my life for her and our baby and it feels like it for nothing."

He was starting to tear up.

"I'm so sorry!" I exclaimed, "I had no idea that it was this bad. You should've said something just to be able to vent to someone. She isn't being fair. "

He hung his head in his hands.

"I know its not going to fix anything, but I have Die Hard ready for us to watch and all the snacks. It'll at least help distract you for a couple of hours."

"I don't know what I would do without you. This past month has been extra miserable trying to not bother you with all of this." He peaked up from his hands as he said this.

I ruffled his hair, "welp, let hope you don't have to truly find out! Now get comfy, I'm going to get popcorn and drinks and then we'll start the movie."

I walked out of the room and breathed the first full breath since he had arrived. I don't want to have to figure out how to do life without him in it. I thought to myself and then I thought about how I probably should because the baby is going to change everything. As it should. That baby deserves all it's daddy's love. I just have to my mantra of ' I can't be selfish' running through my head. It'll be fine. Sure famous last words.

Halfway through the movie, I was absentmindedly running my fingers through Mark's hair as he laid his head against my leg. He let out a little moan.

"Can you rub my head with a little more pressure? It feels amazing" he asked.

I just chuckled and put a little more pressure in my fingers as I rubbed his head. The sounds he was making were as if he was getting a blow job.

"You're making slightly erotic noises. You alright down there?" I laughed at him

He burst out laughing and looked up at me. "I need you to feel what you're doing and then try to not make noises. It might be as good as if not better than sex."

" I feel like you're having mediocre sex if a head massage is doing it for you or I have magical fingers. Let's be real, you're probably having mediocre sex and and I have magical fingers." I joked.

"I'll give you the magical fingers and nothing else." He laughed.

He sat up and tackled me on to the bed.

He straddled my back, "its your turn and I dare you try not to make sex noises." He challenged.

This might have been a bad idea I half groaned to myself.