Never the Right Time

Chapter 41 Mark's POV

Being on the road was freeing. I was beyond pissed at how everything shook out. I knew I needed to figure out a good routine to do work and explore. I had too much free time now and wanted to embrace it as much as I could. All the while, as much as I was angry, I was pissed for Emma. She was young enough where this would pass over her head after awhile. Becs could blame it all on me, but we would know the truth. Part of me would always hate myself for leaving her, but I had no claim to her and I knew I couldn't ever be with Becs again. It was just too much to ever look at her again after the lie that changed my entire life.

I had decided that I would end up in a new location for each project that I worked on, in hopes of eventually finding a more permanent place. All I knew was that I wanted to explore and live on my own terms again and not based on a lie. So my first stop was the coast of Maine. I found an place to park my van for a month and stayed in a little coastal town. It was exactly what I needed for my first stop. I was able to relax and I was able to stop being so angry and focus on the slow atmosphere of the town around me.

After that project was done, I holed up in the mountains of West Virginia, then the Virginia coast, a small North Carolina town, then west. Nashville was the first big city I stayed in. I knew it would be expensive, but this was a shorter project.

From there I just kept moving on. I did research and found a bunch of smaller towns with a nice downtown area or something like that. I cross crossed my way across the country. I thought for a little bit that I would stay in Bozeman, Montana. It had a great downtown and was busy enough that there was always something to do, but I knew I still needed to keep roaming. I kept my parents updated on my location. They wish I had stayed, but understood why I had to leave.

I worked through my angry by joining a gym at every location I ended up at. I was in the best shape of my life, since literally all I had was work and the gym. I also tried to meet people. It was interesting. Most knew I wasn't a local. So they were a little hesitant of me. Every few weeks, I would hit it off with a woman, but would immediately regret it. I knew I was going to leave and I had never been a hit it and quit it guy, so it just felt unnatural.

Bend, Oregon was my next stop. It was the beginning of ski season and I planned on staying the entire season. I found a little apartment in town that I could rent for the winter and made it a little home. The first few weeks I spent the mornings skiing, then would work for the rest of the day and quickly became a regular at one of the breweries in town. I quickly made friends with the regulars on the mountain and then bartenders. One of my favorites was Cass. She worked most of the workdays and since I rarely missed dinner there, we quickly became good friends. She heard my sob story and why I was roaming. I was thankful she didn't judge me for it. For a second I thought she had been flirting with me, but chastised myself for thinking she was being anything other than just nice. She didn't need some rando hitting on her, especially since she knew I was out of here in the spring.

I had been in Bend for about a month, I had brought my laptop to the bar and was working while I ate dinner. Normally I tried to keep work at home, but I was itching for a change of scenery that night. I had been working for a couple hours, taking bite here and there when Cass brought over another beer and sat down.

"Here ya go Marky Mark" She announced as she put the beer down in front of me.

"Thanks Cass" I responded without looking up until I realized that she had sat down in front of me, "Hey?"

"You've been working almost nonstop for a couple hours and I decided that you needed a break and that I had missed your company."

I laughed, "I didn't think you'd care or notice"