𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴, 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 (𝘣𝘹𝘣)

prolouge

first full chapter will be posted tomorrow at 6

first book to this has been unpublished cause it was god awful but you can still read if you'd like. it works as a standalone and i hope you enjoy 

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"Always, forever, bebesita."

Benjamin was sitting in his dorm room, staring out the window with his phone pressed firmly against his ear. "I know...It's just hard."

"I know it's hard but...You've gotta stay strong."

Benjamin sighs and closes the curtains to his window, sitting back on his bed. "Well...Can we FaceTime tomorrow? My roommate is gonna be out all day."

Noah shakes his head. "I can't, bebes. It's homecoming and I'm gonna be with the team all day."

Benjamin lets out a sigh of disappointment and frowns. "Okay." His voice gets soft and he brings his knees up to his chest, laying his head down. "What about Sunday?"

"Uhm-... There's a party I'm going to. It's for the team...But this could be good, bebesita. I might become team captain."

"That's cool," Benjamin lays back onto his bed.

"Right," Noah goes silent for a few seconds, "Well, I'll text you tomorrow, alright?"

"You have to go already?"

"Yeah, bebes. I'll just text you tomorrow, alright? I love you."

Benjamin frowns. "I love you, too."

**
"You keep saying that but does it even mean anything? I mean, seriously Noah, who are you lying to? Me or yourself?"

"I can't only prioritize you, Benjamin! We're in school! And we're hours away from each other it's not my fault!"

"I understand that but you keep making empty promises. That we're gonna see each other, or call each other. Or even text!? You can't make time to text me?"

Noah rolls his eyes. "What do you want me to do? Drop out of college for you? You were the one who said distance wouldn't be an issue! I told you I would apply over there and you told me no."

Benjamin leans back as he was sitting in his car. He removes the phone from his ear for a few seconds before placing it back. "I'm just saying it's hard. We go weeks without talking to each other and I feel like I'm losing you."

"You're not losing anybody, Benjamin. These just curveballs in our relationship. We're gonna get over it."

"I just miss you. I miss being there with you, in your presence. I just feel like we're drifting apart."

**
Benjamin sniffs and takes a deep breath, shaking his head. "I don't understand, Noah!"

"I can't deal with this anymore! I feel like I can't breathe! I need space, Benjamin. To learn...A-and to grow."

"What happened to always and forever? You came up with that, remember? You!"

"I know but things change. All the time and I've changed. You've changed! We're just...N-not compatible or...Good for each other anymore."

Benjamin looks up at the ceiling, tears falling down his cheeks. "You're breaking up with me?"

"I think...I think we should take a break. Take a break and reconnect later on."

"L-Later?"

"Yes. I just...I can't do this anymore. I'm sorry." Noah hangs up the phone.

Benjamin sets his phone down next to him in the bed, bringing his hands up to his eyes, and starts sobbing.

**
Content/ Trigger warning for this book. There will be tw at the beginning of any chapters with the following content.

alcohol abuse, talk about cancer, suicidal thoughts, abuse, self-harm, depression, anxiety, panic attacks.