𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴, 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 (𝘣𝘹𝘣)

thirty eight

Olivia sets a plate down in front of Benjamin. "What did you guys talk about in therapy?"

Benjamin grabs his fork and shrugs. "She said I'm reverting back to my old ways."

"In what way?"

Benjamin takes a bite. "She said that since dad taught me to not speak up about the abuse, I still hold onto it a little bit."

"Oh, honey. I'm sorry that must have been hard to hear."

"It just sucks," Benjamin shakes his head. "It's like dad totally fucked me up. It just sucks cause I thought I was doing better. I've told Noah everything about dad and it felt good."

"Don't feel bad about yourself, love. It's okay to take steps back. And you're working towards being comfortable again."

"I know. It was just hard to be told that." Benjamin stands up from the table to grab a drink. "I know I probably shouldn't say this but...I really hate dad."

Olivia frowns and nods her head. "You have every right to say that, Benny. You know that."

"I mean...I was seven, Mom. Seven and getting beat," Benjamin stands up from the table, grabbing a photo that was hanging on the refrigerator.

He sets the photo down on the table for her to see. "What did this little boy do? This seven-year-old kid in second grade? I could barely read certain words."

Olivia begins to feel tears form in her eyes.

"God, he's so-...He's never fucking apologized. He just got remarried and started a new life like he didn't even know me. Or know what he did."

Zach could hear the conversation from his office and stood up to walk into the kitchen. He makes eye contact with Olivia.

"He's such a fucking asshole. He's ruined everything."

Olivia stands up to grab Benjamin's hands. "Hey...Hey, no he hasn't. You are still so successful and you're so strong, Benjamin. Okay?"

"Mom, I can't even talk about my feelings because of what he taught me. Why would he do that?"

Olivia frowns and shakes her head. "I don't know, honey. And I am so, so sorry for it. I'm sorry I didn't stop it."

"You didn't know," Benjamin shrugs. "It's not your fault."

Olivia nods her head. "I know, baby. I just wish I could've. But you're so much more than what happened to you, okay? You're doing so well."

Benjamin takes a deep breath before leaning in to hug his mom.

**
Noah taps his fingers on the steering wheel, staring at the house he's parked in front of. He turns his head to look at Benjamin. "What are we doing here?"

Benjamin stares at his dad's house. "I want to talk to him."

"And say what, exactly? Benny, last time we were here, he-."

"I know," Benjamin responds calmly. "But...I wanna talk to him. Just ask him why."

Noah shakes his head. "Is this a good idea? Maybe we should call your therapist? Or your Mom? Even Gabs?"

Benjamin ignores him, grabbing his door handle and getting out of the car, slamming the door shut. Noah groans and unbuckles his seatbelt. "Or we can just walk in."

Noah does a small jog to catch up with Benjamin. "Have you rehearsed at all what you're going to say?"

"Don't need to." Benjamin rings the doorbell once before making a fist and pounding on the door.