𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴, 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 (𝘣𝘹𝘣)

thirty one

tw: talk of abuse, self-harm

**
"Hey, Benny, Noah! Come in."

Benjamin smiles a little as he walks into his mom's house. Noah steps in as well, smiling at Olivia. Olivia notices the distress and furrows her brows. "Guys? Is everything okay?"

Benjamin looks up at his mom, tears in his eyes. "I need to talk to you and Zach. I-Is he home?"

Olivia nods. "I'll go get him. He's in the office."

*

Benjamin's leg was bouncing up and down. He had his hand interlocked with Noah's for a sense of comfort as he talked to his parents. He shakes his head. "I had a self-harm relapse. Uhm, after everything with Markus, I kind of fell back into that place."

Olivia raises her brows. "Benjamin. Why didn't you tell us?"

Benjamin shrugs. "Mom...Markus was so scary. I didn't know what to do. I...I lied when I told you about him. It was so much more than just him slapping me. He would...Really, really hurt me,"

"It reminded me so much of dad that I felt like I needed to repress everything just like before. The same way dad told me not to tell you. Markus told me the same thing."

Olivia frowns. "Can I know when it started? The abuse?"

"First time he hit me was after a house party. He wanted me to clean up but I just wanted to go to sleep and he got mad. He just slapped me. But every time it happened it got worse and worse."

Zach lets out a sad sigh. "Benny..."

"I know I should've told someone but I didn't know how. He would threaten me and I didn't have any proof. He was so confusing. After an attack, he'd coddle me. He'd like to take me out to expensive dinners and buy me things I wanted."

Noah scoots closer to Benjamin on the couch. He throws his arms around Benjamin's shoulder to comfort him. "He kind of taught me the...The burning."

"The burning?" Olivia asks, her voice cracking as she almost let out a cry.

Benjamin glances up at Noah and sighs. "I...uh. I was using like...A lighter, instead of...Of razors." He takes a gulp.

Olivia shakes her head before getting up from her seat to sit next to Benjamin. Zach follows, sitting in front of him on the coffee table. "Baby...I'm so so sorry. I wish I would've known and could've done something."

Benjamin smiles. "I-I know. And I'm so sorry I just wish that I could've felt confident enough to tell you." He wipes his tears.

"How can we help you? What do you think is best for you?" Zach asks.

Benjamin shrugs. "Noah and I were thinking about...Me getting back into therapy. I think that it would help me. Learn how to...Express my feelings and not keep everything bottled up."

Olivia nods her head. "Okay...Okay. We can do that, alright?" She grabs Benjamin into a hug, kissing him on his forehead. "Why don't you stay here for a while? Can you do that?"

Benjamin nods his head. "Yeah. I think that'd be good."

Zach smiles softly. "We're proud of you, Benny. We're glad you told us."

Noah nods his head. "Hey, I'll go back to your place and get some of your stuff okay?"

Benjamin looks at Noah snd nods. "Okay. Thank you."

Noah stands up from the couch and smiles. "I'll be right back." He leans down and kisses Benjamin on the lips.

**

Noah knocks on the front door of Gabi's apartment.

Gabi answers the door, a big smile on her face. "Hey! Where's your other half?"

"I'm uh, actually here to grab some more of Benjamin's things." Noah awkwardly shoves his hands into his pockets.

"Oooh. Did you guys finally have the talk?" She raises her eyebrows.

"Uh, talk? No, He, uh, asked me to fill you in. He kinda had a self-harm relapse. He's gonna be staying with his mom for a few days."

"Oh, no. Is he okay?" Gabi moves out of the way to let Noah inside the apartment. She closes the door behind herself.

"Yeah, I-I mean for the most part. I kind of...Caught him in the middle of it. He denied it at first but finally told me about it." Noah shrugs.

"Okay, well...His room is over there. Uh, I can help you pack some things if you'd like." Gabi offers.

"Yeah. If you don't mind to grab his bathroom stuff."

**
Noah walks back into Olivia's house, one bag of Benjamin's things in his hands. Zach gets off the couch, holding a bottle. "Hey. This is burn cream. Benjamin mentioned some of them may be...New. I thought maybe it would help."

Noah smiles at him, grabbing it from Zach. "Thank you. Is he upstairs?"

"Yeah. Go on up and see him. Olivia and I are making dinner."

Noah knocks on Benjamin's bedroom door. He peaks his head in, seeing Benjamin sitting on the bed. "Can I come in?"

"Of course."

Noah closes the door behind himself before dropping the bag down onto the floor. "How you feelin'?" He takes a seat next to Benjamin.

Benjamin shrugs and looks down at his legs. "Uh, exhausted. And my eyes are all puffy from crying."

Noah smiles and leans in to kiss him. "Uh. Zach gave me this," Benjamin glances down at the bottle in Noah's hands. "Do you mind if I-."

Benjamin nods his head. "Uh sure." He stands up, unbuttoning his pants. "Is this weird?"

"No, no...It's totally cool." Noah lets out a breath.

Benjamin sighs, sitting on the bed as he kicks the pants down his legs. He rolls up the end of his boxers to reveal his thigh. "T-There's a few on my other thigh but they're old."

"Okay." Noah rubs some of the cream onto his thigh. "Is this okay?"

"Mhm." Benjamin can feel his eyes beginning to water. He looks up at the ceiling to keep the tears in his eyes. "Will you stay the night, please?"

"Of course." When Noah was finished, he closes the bottle before leaning in to kiss him again. "It's alright, bebes."

Benjamin leans in to hug him. "I just wanna get better. I hate feeling like this."

"You will, baby. You're gonna do great and I know you're gonna improve. You already made a huge difference by telling me and your mom. And making an effort to improve. Were all so proud of you."

***