𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴, 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 (𝘣𝘹𝘣)

forty eight

Noah glides his hand around Benjamin's shoulders. He traces where his bones are, gliding his hands over his sharp shoulders before leaning in to kiss him on his lips. Benjamin smiles as he lays back down in his spot, bringing his hand to run through Benjamin's hair.

"You're so pretty." He says, his eyes flickering from eye to eye, down to his lips, and back up to his eyes. "So pretty."

Benjamin can't help the smile that forms on his face as he's showered in compliments. He brings his hands up to grab his face, using his thumb to wipe over Noah's cheek.

"Can I tell you something?" Noah asks.

"Yeah," Benjamin whispers.

"I used to be so afraid of myself before I met you," Noah starts. Benjamin furrows his brows at him. "I was so afraid of my bisexuality...I was ashamed. Felt like something was wrong with me."

"What do you mean?"

"I couldn't be one thing. And I hated it. I was afraid I wouldn't be enough for you cause...I wasn't prideful like you. You were so confident in yourself and...Without meeting you I don't think I'd ever be who I am."

Benjamin smiles sweetly, leaning in to kiss him again. "I'm glad you can finally be who you want to be. It takes a lot of time and effort but...You're doing so good and have been."

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" Benjamin asks.

"Leaving you...College. I wanted to be everything for you and...I thought letting you go would be easier than losing you. But I hurt both of us...And I missed you every day."

"It's okay," Benjamin says. "I'm not mad at you. I was never mad at you."

"I just think that if I didn't leave you....You wouldn't have gone through all that with Mar-."

"Hey," Benjamin sits up a little bit, grabbing Noah's hand. "No one will win that game. It's not your fault. Don't ever think that. What...He did to me was because of him and no one else."

"I know but-."

"But nothing, love," Benjamin shakes his head. "It's not your fault. It's not my fault...It's not anyone's fault. Okay?"
Noah nods his head. "Okay...Okay."

***
Benjamin blinks himself awake. After their activity, they showered together last night, drank wine, and then fell asleep. He looks down at Noah's hands which are wrapped around his waist.

Benjamin smiles softly as he pushes Noah's hands off of him to get up to use the restroom. After finishing, washing his hands thoroughly he makes his way into Noah's kitchen to make them some breakfast.

Hitting the container of cinnamon rolls against the counter, Benjamin shoves the pan into the oven. He wipes his hands down on the T-shirt he was wearing. Noah's hands come down to wrap around his waist, leaning down to kiss him on his neck, sweetly. "Good morning."

Benjamin smiles at this, turning around and wrapping his arms around Noah's neck. "Morning." He leans in and kisses him once. "How'd you sleep?"

"Good," Noah's hands find their place on Benjamin's waist, and he slowly sways them. "You?"

"Good as well," Benjamin smiles. "That wine was yummy but it made me tired."

"You sure it was just the wine?" Noah asks jokingly, laughing a little bit.

"Oh hush up," Benjamin says, laughing along. "I'm making cinnamon rolls...Do you want some bacon or something?"

"Yeah, sur-." Noah's phone starts ringing from the bedroom.