𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴, 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 (𝘣𝘹𝘣)

twenty three

Noah had kissed Benjamin goodbye on Monday morning as he left for his new job. Benjamin had been at Noah's for almost two weeks.

"You gonna come back or go home?"

Benjamin shrugs. "I can come back. I'll just swing by the apartment and grab some more things."

Noah smiles and nods. He kisses Benjamin again. "Have fun, nerd."

Benjamin smiles back. "I'll see you tonight."

*
Noah didn't have much to do without Benjamin home. His dad gave him a few days off as he had gotten surgery only two weeks ago.

He had to admit, falling back into old habits with Benjamin was great and he felt sane again.

Things just weren't the same. Benjamin was still keeping secrets and he wouldn't share his feelings with Noah. Or anyone, to be honest.

Noah didn't like that. Why was he not being trusted?

Noah sighs and walks out into the kitchen, deciding the straighten up the place. He wouldn't call it necessarily messy, but you could tell more than one person was now staying there.

Especially living with Benjamin.

No, he wasn't messy, but the boy sure did pack a lot of things.

Noah starts laundry, knowing that was most of the mess. He grabs a handful, throwing it in the wash. He goes back into the room and sees a lighter on the ground.

He'd never seen it before, so it must be Benjamin's. He grabs it, flicking it on before turning it back off and setting it down in a draw full of junk.

*
Benjamin sighs and walks back into Noah's apartment. He wasn't home yet as he had to go out and grab some more medication that finally arrived.

He sits down on the couch and leans over, putting his head in his hands. He lets out a loud sigh.

"You okay?"

Benjamin looks up and sees Noah walking in. "Oh...Hey."

Noah frowns and closes the door. "What's going on, baby? You alright?"

Benjamin stands up and nods. He smiles and wipes his eyes. "Yeah. I'm fine...I'm okay."

"You sure? How was your first day of work?"

"It was cool. Yeah, I like my coworkers and whatnot." Benjamin slides both his hands into the back pockets of his jeans.

Noah tilts his head to the side and frowns. "What are you not telling me? I know you, Benjamin."

Benjamin shakes his head. "Nothing. I'm alright...Uh, how was your day? Get your meds?"

"Yeah, they finally came in," Noah smiles and reaches out to grab Benjamin's hand. "Please talk to me."

Benjamin let's out a dry chuckle. "Nothing to talk about, Noah."

"Why do you keep doing that? We're in a relationship, Benjamin. Stop shutting everyone out."

Benjamin blushes and pulls away. "I'm not!"

Noah shakes his head and steps toward him. "What are you so afraid of?"

"I'm not afraid." Benjamin looks down at his shoes.

"Benjamin-."

"I'm not afraid!" He shakes his head and brings his hands over his eyes. "I-I can't do this right now." Benjamin grabs his bag off the couch.

"Where are you going?"

"I just...Need a minute."

**
Benjamin never did come back home, nor back to his and Gabi's place. He ended up going to his moms' place and sleeping in his old bedroom.

Noah was sat on his couch, texting Benjamin over and over.

He had made it a habit of distancing himself from people when the time to face his problems. He used avoidance to make himself feel better.

"Fuck, bebes."

He sighs and then calls Gabi.

Gabi looks over at Alexis, her girlfriend, who was fast asleep. She grabs her phone when she sees Noah calling.

Throwing the comforter off of herself, she stands up and answers the phone. "Hey, Martinez. What's up?"

"Have you heard from Benjamin?"

"No? I thought he was staying over at your place?"

Noah takes a swig of his beer and shrugs. "We kinda got into a...Argument? Not really but he stormed out of here and hasn't responded to me."

Gabi walks out of her bedroom to check if Benjamin was in his bedroom. She peaks her head inside the room and shakes her head. "He's not here. He goes to his moms when he's overwhelmed. Probably there."

Noah lets out a sigh of relief. "Okay. That's good, I guess."

Gabi sits down on the couch. "Can I ask what happened?"

"He was crying after work and still hasn't told me about how he feels about what happened at his dad's. I just...Asked him...What he's afraid of. He doesn't have to be like that around me."

"I asked him that once. What he's afraid of. He got pretty defensive."

"This is the same shit from back in high school when he was abusing those pills. I hate when he puts this wall up. I can't do anything about it and it makes me angry."

Gabi frowns. "I know. Everything with Markus just...set him back."

"He needs to talk to someone. For closure and for...Sanity. He's constantly holding all that shit in and he's gonna implode. He needs to let that fucking wall down."

Gabi nods her head. "Trust me. I understand. Just...Be patient with him and...Keep pushing him to speak no matter what. You know him better than anyone else."

**