The first month of school dragged on, but Luke helped me enjoy the little weekends we had together. I haven’t hung out with the boys out of school in what felt like forever, which was upsetting. This weekend we had all planned to meet at Calum’s house. As I got ready, I could hear an engine outside of my house, Ashton.
“I miss you like crazy” I entered his car giving him a huge hug. “I missed you more” he smiled before driving off to Calum’s house. As we entered, i could hear the faint noise of two people arguing. Ashton gave me a worried look, as he rushed upstairs. “what do you mean?!” Luke sneered angrily at Michael. “You’ve been ditching us for the past three weeks” he rolled his eyes, “and because of you, Ally’s been ditching me!” Calum joined in. A pang of guilt rushed over me, Ashton and I entered. “whats going on?” Ashton stuffed his hands into his pockets. “nothing” Michael huffed and pushed past Luke. “You okay?” I walked up to Luke placing my hand on his arm, he flinched and brushed my hand off taking me by surprise.
“this is all your fault anyways” he rolled his eyes at me annoyingly, “just leave me the fuck alone” he implied, his eyes were blank. I could feel the tears prick at the corner of my eyes, but I held them back. It felt like someone had taken a dagger and jabbed it into my heart, over and over. “you’re an ass” I managed, and pushed past him. Calum followed after me, into the doorway of his house. “he didn’t mean that” he shook his head taking a hold of my hand. “I don’t care either way” I lied bluntly. “do you want me to take you home?” he stroked my forearm comfortingly. “I’ll just walk, but thank you” I faintly smiled. “hey” he called out before I walked completely away. “You’re coming over tomorrow though, I missed you” he smiled and I nodded.
My room had been untouched from the day before. I slammed the door and fell onto my bed unsure of what I wanted to do, pull my hair out or sob into my pillow. The thought of him burned under my skin, and I could not help but think of him and start falling apart over and over inside. This is why I preferred not to let people in, this is what I was afraid of. All it took for him was to say a few words for me to let him in, and all it took was two sentences for him to make me fall apart in every single way possible. Everything hurt, physically and emotionally. I despised him for making me so infatuated with him.
It had been three weeks since we spoke, I had been completely avoiding Luke. He tried texting and calling and walking up to me in the hallway, he even tried stopping by my house but I was not giving in. Because I knew, that if he spoke two words to me I’d fall right back into his arms, and I was not going to let that happen. The boys got the idea that I was avoiding Luke and so I’ve been hanging out with them, when Luke’s not there. Which has made my weekends quite boring since Luke was usually the highlight of it.
I made this new friend too, her name was Megan. She was really into good bands, and was very much obsessed with Matt Healy so we got along just perfectly. In fact, I was sleeping over at her house this weekend so we could stay up and watch a livestream performance together. I must admit, it felt nice having a friend who was a girl here. But nothing, and no one was as fun as the boys, all of them, together.
“is it 12am yet?” Megan jumped up and down excitedly, “why’re you so excited about twelve AM? The livestream starts at like two in the morning” I glanced at the time on my phone. “you’ll see” she nudged my shoulder. “well it’s precisely eleven fifty eight so..” I looked around her room expecting to see something I hadn’t before, but nothing extravagant caught my eye. “can you go get me some water from downstairs please” she plopped onto her bean bag as she began typing away on her phone. “you’re so lazy” I rolled my eyes at her and got up to go get her some water.
As I was grabbing the bottle, I heard the front door open. I knew for a fact her parents were out of town for the weekend, so I was expecting it to be a burglar. “Megan!” I shouted nervously, grabbing the sharpest thing I could find next to me, which was thankfully a knife.
The familiar silhouette was none other than Luke Hemmings. He had a guitar wrapped around him, his eyes were still as captivating as I remembered them to be. “what are you doing here?” I dropped the knife and straightened out my shirt, “hear me out” he pleaded. “You said what you wanted to say, now you should just leave me alone” I pressed my lips tightly together. My mouth told him to leave but my conscious wanted him to stay ever so badly. “give me five minutes” he looked at me every so sadly and I couldn’t say no.
He began strumming to an unfamiliar tone,
“I can’t remember the last time I saw your face
I feel so lonely when I’m a crowded space
You left me without direction”
he began singing and it hit me right int the heart, right back to the moment I first heard him sing. I got goosebumps all over my body.
“I’ve been from place to place
Trying to bring you back
I’d walk for days and days
Cause I can’t face the fact
That nothing is better than you”
he stepped closer to me and let his fingertip touch the tip of my chin making me blush
“I’m coming because I need to find you
Is anybody there, who can rescue, somebody like me
Cause I’m just waiting for somebody like you, somebody like you
Because without you I’m lost boy
Without you Im a lost boy
Come find me, I’m a lost boy
Cause without you I’m a lost boy”
Each word he sang, made me blush, he was singing directly to me. I felt his eyes on mine, the entire time he sang.
“I can’t remember the last time I heard your voice
I’m sat in silence, sitting in a world of noise
Cause you are perfection”
As he continued to sing, I was at a loss of words. His body moved closer to mine, making me tense up. His lips were less than an inch away, “I was an asshole, a huge asshole” he gulped. “I had just gotten into a fight with the boys for like, the first time. I was being a douche and I blamed it on you. I get it if you don’t want to forgive me, but I can’t give up you, on this..” he motioned his index finger at our two bodies. “please say something” his eyes flickered as I parted my lips, “okay”. He smiled and pulled me into a hug.
“so whats that song called?” I asked, “its really good” I blushed as I rethought of the moment. “I actually wrote it myself” he stretched his arms out and scratched the back of his neck before awkwardly staring down at his face. “well, I really like it” I nodded, too afraid to ask him if it was really, for me.
He stood at the doorway, “I’m sorry again” and I pulled him in for a hug. He pulled back, but left his arms resting on the sides of my waist. “and in case you were wondering, I did write it for you, and only you” he gave me a peck on the cheek and left me standing in the doorway, my jaw hanging open and my heart racing.
“I can’t believe you didn’t at least warn me” I threw the pillow at Megan who had already known beforehand, since Luke had planned this with her. He really was, the best yet worst thing that has ever happened to me.
YOU ARE READING
always // lrh
Fanfic" judging by the way that they looked at each other, they knew that their love was undying always"
