always // lrh

Without Him

I’ve come to the conclusion where this is the best way to wake up. I wanted to sleep with him every single night, and no I do not mean have sex. Just innocently sleep in each others embrace. His legs tangled in mine, his arms wrapped around my body. I could feel him breathing, I could hear his heart beat perfectly. He even had this cute silent snore, that I learned to adore. I had noticed that his hair flopped down over his beautiful eyes, which were now shut. But now, I never wanted to go back to sleep, because I enjoyed what was right in front of me way more than any dream my mind could muster up.

“I cannot believe you’re going to Queensland for two weeks and leaving me with these obnoxious dorks” I pointed at the boys who were, who were acting strange and loud. Not that that was in any way unusual. “I wanna be in the tribe!” Michael shouted making Calum double over in laughter. “Offensive” Michael groaned while falling off the couch, “ouch” he groaned again making me laugh. “to think of it, you’re quite obnoxious too” I chuckled. “But I am going to sort of kind of miss you when you leave” I timidly admitted while playfully punching his shoulder. “well I’m not, you’re kind of clingy” he scrunched up his nose in disgust before taking me in for a huge hug. I took it as an advantage to inhale, I could not describe how he smelled but he smelled like Luke Hemmings. “I’m going to miss you loads even though its two weeks, its going to drive me mad” he whispered before letting go of me. 

“Michael, teach me how to play this” I nagged at him. “You wouldn’t understand” he snatched the game controller from my hand. “I would” I stuck my tongue out for him, “I dare you” he handed it back. He gave me a brief explanation and I kicked his ass at it. We spent the night, listening to music, eating and playing video games. I enjoyed this more than I have ever enjoyed spending any time with my friends back home.

“well I’m heading out, I’ve got an early flight tomorrow” Luke tugged at the ends of his black sweater. “Finally!” Ashton said joked giving Luke what guys had called a hug. “Don’t leave me” Michael dramatically added, while he sobbed the most fake sob into Luke’s shoulder. “I don’t even like him” Calum rolled his eyes, “Same” I joked giving Calum a high five. Such obnoxious dorks. I love every bit of it.

The boys stayed downstairs in the basement while I went upstairs with Luke to the door. “I uh..” I stammered. “I made you this” I gulped handing him a CD, “it’s like a playlist thing, like for you” I scratched the back of my neck awkwardly. “Thank you” he smiled and gave me a tight hug, slightly carrying me off the ground. “No problem” I loved it when he hugged me like that, because I could feel his chin on my shoulder, and he was so close to me, oh my god. I need to stop, he doesn’t like me that way.

He took me by surprise when he slipped off the hair tie out of my wrist. “Hey?” I arched my eyebrows at him in confusion, “Do you need to tie that quiff up in a bun?” I teased making him crack a smile. “No, I just wanted something to remind me of you, you dork” he huffed. “I’m the dork?” I questioned making him hesitate. “I thought so” I stuck my tongue out making him raise his middle finger up at me. “Just keep it on or else I’ll be really upset” he was halfway out the door. “I wouldn’t think of taking it off”

The rest of the vacation dragged on, I had loads of fun with the boys of course and FaceTimed Luke every other night although we were texting constantly. I loved the boys company but it was just not the same without Luke. Luke was different, like really different from anyone I have ever met in my entire life and I didn’t ever wanted to know what it felt to be without him, ever.

“so how is it?” I asked, putting the phone far away from my face, “it’s really fun, really quiet without you and the boys though” he stated. “obviously, especially Michael” I chuckled. “especially Michael” he agreed while pulling a weird face. “are you and Calum picking me up tomorrow?” he asked. “yeah, Ashton has some assignment to do and I think Michael is hanging with his girlfriend, or I’m not even sure if she’s his girlfriend” I rolled my eyes. “They are so complicated” Luke shook his head, “I know right? Like if you like someone just tell them” I huffed. “Exactly, don’t hold back” he looked somehow affected by the words. How ironic of us to be speaking of this certain subject.