Repressed (Wattys 2014 Winner)

Chapter 33

I smiled as I watched Adrian sleep next to me, I would be gone in another few days and he wouldn’t even know what hit him. It’ll be a repeat of everything that had happened earlier. I could see his chest rising and falling with every breath he took. His eyes tightly shut and oblivious.

I got up from the bed, pulled on a t-shirt and walked to the kitchen, I poured myself an orange juice and jumped onto the island in the kitchen. The cool marble stung my skin. I sipped my juice happily. Hellenia would be coming tomorrow. I looked up at the watch on the wall. It was seven thirty in the morning. I thought of visiting Alex. Ellen had left for India as planned. She would be there, waiting for us to come to New Delhi. I thought of Alex, about how I could see his brown eyes again, how I could run my hands through his hair as he kissed me and the way his beautiful lips would curl with a smile whenever he saw me. Would that happen now? Would he love me?

Would he love me when I tell him about Adrian?

I began to prepare breakfast, eggs and bacon and ham sandwiches. I was in the process of frying the bacon when I felt Adrian’s arms slide across my waist, pulling me to him. His chin rested on my head as he whispered, “making food for us?” His voice was hoarse and sexy. But yet, again, he always was. I nodded my head, I felt him kiss my head before he pulled away, “I am going to be gone, the entire day. I have to go to Dublin, I’ll be back tomorrow evening. Are you okay with that?”

I nodded again, “Why would I have any problem with that? It’s your life, make it large.”

Adrian exhaled, “Look, I just wanted to make sure that you wouldn’t worry.” I tossed the cooked bacon into the sandwich and stared at him, “Why would I be worried? What makes you think I care about your presence?” I turned around, and was about to walk away with the sandwich when I felt his arm wrap tightly around my free wrist, turning me around effectively knocking the sandwich to the ground.

“I thought after last night we had made progress.” He growled.

I glared at him, “Clean up the mess. What progress? There is no progress, Adrian. That was just a casual fuck.”

I could see that my words were like a verbal slap to him, he flinched when I said the last two words with heavy emphasis. His jaw clenched and his fists were closed tight together.

“Get out.” He said, “Get out before I hit you.”

I pushed Adrian to the ground and then ran to our bedroom. I pulled open his drawer and began to rummage inside it for his whip. My hands had just curled around it when I felt his arms pull me and throw me on the ground. I screamed.

“Adrian, please stop!” I said as he walked towards me. My t-shirt had come up leaving my crotch uncovered and at his eyes’ mercy. I pulled it down, he was stalking towards me when the doorbell rang.

He exhaled sharply and went to outside the room. I tried to steady my heart beat as I realized that I could have been severely punished by him. I stared at Adrian as he entered our room again, the maid had arrived. She saw me on the ground and gasped softly, her eyes sorry for what I was going through. I shook my head at her. Adrian noticed what I was doing, he came over and back handed me across the face.

“Sir!” The maid screeched from where she was standing. His slap knocked me down, “Get the fuck outta’ here before I come out from my shower. Or so help me God, Milania I will fuck you senseless.”

I watched him with blurry eyes as he walked into the shower. Once I heard the running of water I ran to the closet, I pulled off the t-shirt I was wearing. I quickly pulled on a bra and a fresh pair of knickers. I pulled on my black slacks and a crisp white t-shirt and headed out, grabbing the apartment keys on the way and my wallet. The maid came to me, “Ma’am are you alright?” Her voice and eyes had nothing more than concern for me. I nodded, eyes still blurry, “Tell him, I left and that I have already made him lunch. It’s in the fridge, help him out if he is unable to find it.” The maid nodded, her green eyes sparkling with confusion and distaste for Adrian’s actions. Her brown hair pulled tightly into a bun with her pink lips frowning at me, “Will you be alright?”

I nodded again, I walked to the door, punched the code in and walked out.

***

I stared at Alex. The pallor of his skin had improved. He was better now. His skin flushed red for some reason.

“Baby, can you hear me?” I asked him. I took his hand in mine and circled his palm with the pads of my fingers, “They say you can hear me. They say, you’ll be awake soon. Well, guess what? I’m gonna’ be there in front of you when you are awakened. I’ll be the one you lay your eyes on, first.”

I knew he was still unconscious, lost somewhere in the dark recesses and trenches and voids that his mind could have, but I swear that his lip had twitched. He was coming back.

“I’m pregnant, Alex. It’s our baby.” I said as tears began to flood my eyes. I cradled my tummy with my free hand and looked at him, “A girl or a boy? That I do not know of. But it’s ours. Aren’t you happy, daddy?”

Alex’s hair was sticking to his forehead, I began to adjust it, by pulling it towards the sides softly.

“You shouldn’t be here.” I heard a voice speak up. I turned around, it was Zara. Her lips pulled into a tight line, brown eyes flashing with unspoken rage and her hair messily tied atop her head. I shrugged, “I couldn’t not see him. He’s my boyfriend after all.” Zara nodded. She grabbed a chair and side on the opposite side of Alex, she grabbed his other hand.

“Why are you not scolding me, Zara?” I asked her.

“Hmm?” She replied, I repeated my question and she laughed loudly, “Milla, I was…I was scared. I thought that you didn’t take care of my boy. You would have never let this happen, but then reality sets in and, I realized you couldn’t have possible done anything to help Alex when he was being beaten. I appreciate how you have been coming here for the past one week, every single day, to see Alex. I know you’re a keeper. Now, I don’t know who that guy you were with earlier was, but I know that you wouldn’t cheat on my brother or hurt him. I know you won’t and I know that you love him. I am sorry, Milla. Please understand that it was my fear that drove me to those fiery tempers.”

I jumped out of my seat, walked over to Zara who was startled by my sudden movements, and I hugged her. I hugged her so tightly that I was afraid of breaking her body. I could feel Zara whimper, “I am sorry, Milania.” I shook my head. I pulled away and kissed her cheek, “it’s okay, Zara.”

Zara pulled away, her eyes flickered to my wrists, “Milla, are those the love bracelets? They are so beautiful.” She smiled at me. I arched my eye brow and smiled back, “Yes, thank you for giving them to Adrian, on behalf of Alex.”

Zara frowned, “Who?”

I smiled nervously, “Didn’t you give this to Adrian? To give it to me?” The back of my neck began to prickle with fear, something was wrong.

“Milla, who is Adrian? What are you talking about? I didn’t give anyone this.”

The rate of my breathing increased. It all began to fit in, how Adrian found me that night at the club when I had run away, how he was able to tell that I had come back from the club, everything began to fit into place.

I fell to the ground, “Oh, God!” I whispered. What is on this that enables him to find me all the time? “Tracker,” I whispered the answer to myself. I began to sob uncontrollably, Zara hugged me, “What happened?”

“I never realized that I, the entire fucking time, was wearing the key to my imprisonment. I am such an idiot.” I slapped my forehead.

“Milla, what are you saying?” Zara rubbed my back as she crouched on the ground, next to me. I shook my head, “nothing I can’t fix. You know the plan right?” 

“Yes, get Alex to India and then call your sister when I get there. Got it.”

“That’s good. Please, call Hellenia. It would give me peace of mind. I have to go and sort out something, I’ll be back, alright?” I said as I got up, straightening my jeans and top. I walked to Alex, gave him a soft peck on the lips. Zara grabbed my forearm softly, “I hope that in time, you will be able to tell Alex what was going on when he was in such a state.”

“I hope, he and I have the strength to sit through that conversation.” I replied back flatly and walked towards the door, I turned around to look at Alex and Zara, blew them a kiss and exited.

Someone had a lot of explaining to do, tonight.