Repressed (Wattys 2014 Winner)

Chapter 38

“Milania, babe, I’m serious. The room is moving,” Adrian said, still blinking rapidly. I smiled widely, “Babe, are you drunk?”

“No, I’m…I’m not.” Adrian said as he tried to get up, but his head was swaying. He lightly hit his head trying to stop the motions but it didn’t work. I immediately got up and pulled his arm around my shoulder, “Babe, let’s go to bed.” I said.

As I walked to the bedroom, I could see Adrian’s eyes drooping. He was fading away.

He was losing consciousness. As he flailed in my arms, he managed to knock down a vase, breaking it into tiny pieces. I led him to the bed and put him on it. I helped him remove his t-shirt and pulled off his pants, leaving him in his boxers. He had already removed his shoes.

I pulled away, he grabbed my hand, “Where are you going?” He grumbled.

“To take bath.” I said.

I went into the bathroom and mixed some more pills with water. I came back out and tipped the water into Adrian’s open mouth, “It’s so bitter!” He squealed. I smiled sweetly, “It’s okay. It’ll take the pain away.”

“What pain?”

“The pain, you caused me. The pain, I am going to return back to you.”

“What?” He replied before he blacked out into oblivion. I smiled and laughed loudly. I took a quick shower. I opened the underwear drawer and pulled out the passport and ticket. I pulled on a pair of jeans and a faded Guns N Roses t-shirt. I wore my Isabel Marant sneaker heels in black colour and left him a note,

I am repeating history. I love you, not. Don’t come back. I’m too far gone, for you to get me back into your life again. Don’t stick around. Marry Dahlia, she’ll make a good wife. I just get a good feeling from her. I mean, she’s gotta’ have guts in order for her to tolerate you. And yes, I am pregnant. Just not with your child, with Alex’s. He’s everything to me. Stay out of my life this time. And stay out. I mean it. I’ve never loved you. You’re a monster. Have a good life. I loved you so much, that I thought someday that you could change. But all you brought me was a heart full of pain.

You can’t touch me now, there’s no feeling left. If you think I’m coming back, don’t hold your breath. What you did to me, boy I can’t forget. If you think I’m coming back, don’t hold your breath.

Milania xx

I quoted few lines from my favourite song Don’t Hold Your Breath. It seemed apt for what I wanted to say.

I put the note on his bedside table and left the bangles on it. I quickly went to the door, punched the lock in. The door clicked open. I softly slipped out and closed it behind me. But I wasn’t out of danger, yet. I came down to the lobby and took a taxi to the VIP terminal. I gave the cabbie a five hundred Euro note and waited as he drove me in the half-empty streets of London to the Heathrow airport.

I wasn’t carrying any luggage. There was nothing to carry. The time was twelve o’clock in the morning. And after the immigration and customs and other things, I was pretty sure it would be one-thirty before I would even look at the plane.

“Juliet Davidson?” The immigration officer asked me. I nodded and smiled at him. He tapped on the screen and frowned, “Well it says here that you are to be, personally escorted to your plane. Hold on, I will call an officer for this.”

Bless Caleb!

I tapped my foot impatiently on the ground, constantly looking over my shoulder to ensure that no ‘Adrian,’ was approaching. I started to bite my cuticles when the male immigration officer came back with a lady officer. “Juliet, you are to go with Officer Dawson here. She will take you to your plane. Have a good flight, madam.” He said, he stamped the fake passport with a genuine immigration stamp and let me leave.