Repressed (Wattys 2014 Winner)

Chapter 23

I could feel my tears pouring out as I walked to the exit of the building. I didn’t love Adrian, I didn’t. But the fact that he was my ex still remained. I could not bear to watch him fuck another girl, ever.

I walked as fast I could manage in my heels. It was dark, the only thing I saw were the neon lights of a club. I ran into it. And went straight to the bar, “One Daniels straight up, please!” I choked out, the stupefied bartender stared at me, shrugged and then poured my drink, “You kay’ love?” he asked.

I nodded, “Just pour till I tell you to stop.” I fished out five hundred pounds and gave it to him. He slid it into his pocket, “Okay, love.” I drank two glasses, I could feel the liquid heat inside me and was glad to know I could feel something other than pain. I could feel someone’s arms around me, I pulled away “Hey, stop it.” I turned to face a guy who looked so similar, yet, was not Alex. He had the same chocolate hair, eyes and skin, I ran my hands over his face, “Alex?” I asked, my other hand reached out for another glass and I drowned that too.

“Sure, I can be whatever you want me to be.” He smiled at me, I pulled him towards the dance floor, “Dance with me.” I ordered him. He pulled me to him, one hand going down to my ass and the other around my neck. He pulled me towards but I pushed him away, “Don’t.” I warned. The guy winked at me, “Or what?” He challenged.

“Or this.” I heard a voice speak out and felt him being ripped away from me.

Adrian!

I watched him tackle the guy to the ground, landing blows on every part of his body, “Touch her again and I’ll kill you! Stupid! Fucker!” He shouted.

I took my opportunity and ran out of the club. There was no other place to go, hence I ran back to Adrian’s apartment. I knew that he wouldn’t think I was here. He’d probably think that I had gone to Alex. But oh how wrong he was!

I ran into the bedroom, and sat down on the bed shivering. I was surprised to find fat tears threatening to fall out, I roughly wiped them away with the back of my hand. I hadn’t had dinner and I could feel the rumbling of my stomach, I walked to the kitchen, still lost in absolute sadness. I poured myself a glass of coke and grabbed a packet of chips.

I walked back to the bedroom and began to eat, the sound of my munching echoing loudly in the dead-silent apartment.

After a while, I could hear the door swing open as a frantic Adrian called out, “Milla!” He walked to the hall and then I could hear his footsteps approaching the bedroom. I took a deep breath in as he slammed the door open and stared at me, pure shock and worry stuck on his face.

“Milania,” he whispered, he walked over to me, he pulled the glass and packet of chips away as his arms curled around my waist, hoisting me up and towards him, “Don’t do this to me again. Please!”

“Oh right! You raped me and then now you were fucking someone else in our bed?”

Adrian winced at the bitterness of her words, “I’m sorry. God, I just want you so bad. I feel terrible for doing that to you the other night.”

“Shut the fuck up! You don’t. If you did, you wouldn’t be fucking her, you’d be making amends. You know what? Screw you.” I said and pushed him away from me. I felt so disgusted by him, I could scrub clean every part of my body that had ever made contact with him. I walked to the hallway, the warning of the rapping of his feet came too late as I was thrown against the wall.

I felt his fingers slide behind my neck, “Don’t aggravate me, Milania.” He warned. I pushed him away again but this time his hold remained, “Don’t. Don’t fight me.” He said in a husky whisper and I felt something hot stir in my stomach.