Repressed (Wattys 2014 Winner)

Chapter 14

I stripped off my soiled clothes and picked up the ones Adrian had left for me. I sniffed it, it had the light scent of lavender. Lavender was Adrian’s favourite scent when it came to the laundry of his clothes. Everything had to smell of that, the detergent, the softener, everything. I felt disgusted at myself at the realization that I knew so much about Adrian.

I entered the shower, the hot water calming my tense muscles. I shampooed my hair and stayed under the torrent for what felt like hours, my tears merged with the water, Zara hated me, everybody did, would Alex hate me too? What if he recovered? What if I wasn’t there at that time? What would he think?

Would he even remember me?

I moaned, “Oh, God!” And ran my hands through my hair, pressing my temples and my skull, trying to block out the way he shouted my name when he was being hit.

“STOP!” I screamed to myself as I hit the marble tiles with my right fist, again and again and again, till I knew I had broken something in my hand. Now I recoiled with pain, something was wrong. 

I could barely flex my fingers, I cried out in pain, I turned off the faucet with my left hand, struggled to wrap it around my body and I headed out into Adrian’s bedroom, I struggled again to pull the clothes over me, I left my bra, as there was no way in hell I would be able to do the clasps. I reached for the phone, the beeps were not there, and there was no sound. I just holding a dumbass piece of plastic, I threw it to the other side of the room, breaking it into pieces.

Bastard.

Adrian must’ve cut all the lines in fear that I would run away or call someone to aid me, the phone rang, “What the hell?” I muttered in shock, and soon realized that there was a mobile next to the bed, I went and picked it up, it was Adrian, his voice came cool, calm and clipped, and he said “You were using the phone?”

“Yes, you annoying son of a bitch! What the fuck? You cut the lines? Here I am with a broken hand and you cut the fucking lines?” My fury throbbed in my veins, I couldn’t believe this. What a vote of confidence! But I guess running away at three in the morning from your abusive boyfriend, didn’t really help the case. My case.

“Broken hand? Milania, what the hell have you done?” Adrian snapped, he sounded annoyed.

“What is that supposed to fucking mean? I broke my hand, I punched the wall because a particular motherfucker has kept me here under lock and key.” I replied. I could hear Adrian’s breath hitch with annoyance and irritation, “I’m on my way.”

And the phone went dead.

Adrian was the owner of the multi-billion dollar Victory Enterprises, he owned a lot of things, well his company did. He owned technology companies, food and processing industries in backward countries all the way down to stables for horses who were meant to race in the derbies. He was a workaholic, and was a good leader, I knew it, because I knew him, better than anybody else.

He was coming here, shit. That usually didn’t happen, Adrian, would never leave the office and just come home, not unless he was extremely annoyed or extremely happy and at the moment, I knew exactly why he was coming.

He lived very close to his office, it was exactly ten minutes away, but I knew that when he was in hurry he could be here in five.

I heard the door click open, damn! He was here already, he must be super annoyed but his voice contradicted what I thought, it was full of concern, “Milania? Baby?” I walked out, jutting my chin out, “Here, take me to the hospital.” I held out my hand to show the damage, my hand was now turning blue-black, Adrian’s mouth dropped, he looked at me, closed it and then left my hand.

Before I could expect it, he shouted, “ARE YOU INSANE? Just what the fuck are you trying to do?” He grabbed my wrist and pulled me sharply, “Next time you wanna’ go on a path to self-destruction please, for fuck’s sake, RSVP me, so that I can see your bullshit stupidity reach its heights.”

I pouted with anger and felt stupid at what I had done, but I was still angry, “LET ME GO, DOODLEFACE!” I immediately shut up after I realized what I had done. Doodle face, it was the nickname I had kept for Adrian, I would only call him that, if I was annoyed with him. His eyes widened and he let me go, and ran his hands through his hair, “Come, we gotta’ get you to a hospital.”

“I am not going with you.” I blatantly refused.

“Milania,” He warned, “Don’t push me. Maybe you can meet Alex too.” The bastard smirked at me, he knew it was plain black mail and he knew that I would cave.

I sharply exhaled, “I will go but not with you, someone else.”

Adrian shook his head, “It’s either me or you can suffer with the broken hand.”

***

I sat in the BMW, edging away from Adrian, I kept my eyes straight, and crossed my arms over my chest.

“You should have worn a bra, you know?” Adrian chuckled.

Oh the nerve, I snapped, “Why you little…annoying piece of shit!” I didn’t want to talk to him, I hated him, but as long as he would let me be with Alex for a while every day I didn’t mind. It was the night which would resurrect my terror.

He sharply inhaled, “Why do you hate me?” He stared at me, but I refused to look at him, I felt him pull my face towards his, I fought, “Leave me alone!” I scratched at him and then he pulled back laughing, “What a feisty little cat I have got!” He ruffled my hair like you would do for a child and I hissed at him, “I am a bloody lioness, not a cute kitty, shut the hell up! Are you honestly asking me why I hate you? I thought you’d know. Who whips and pulls apart the skin of his girlfriend? I have to carry the scars forever now!” I began to cry, hot tears pouring down my cheeks.

“Oh baby, I am so sorry, you know I didn’t…” He began but I cut him off, I scratched his forearm, and I knew I had hurt him because he pulled back, “What the fuck was that for?” He asked.

“You hurt me, and now I hurt you, but what you actually did was something I will never be able to forget, never mind getting over it. You ripped my skin apart, Adrian.”

“AND I SUFFER EVERY DAY FOR IT!” Adrian said, his knuckles turned white as he gripped the steering wheel. I could hear him choke, he turned to look at me, tears in his eyes, “You have no idea how much I torture myself everyday over what I did to you. The moment that happened to you, it was like a part of me had, died.”

“You don’t mean it, I know you don’t. You are just a sick, selfish, and sadistic bastard!” I said, and then realized we had reached the hospital, I unlocked my door and ran out of the car to the ER ward, I shouted, “Help me, please? My hand is broken, and somebody is chasing me!” Adrian was few metres away from me, I grabbed a nurse who was walking past me, “Please help me, he is following me, and I need you to help me out, please.” I began to cry.

The nurse looked at Adrian’s furious strides, she understood the undercurrents of the situation. She gestured to a door, she whispered, “Go inside that and stay there. When it’s clear, I will come and get you and we’ll mend that hand of yours.”

I ran into the room and realized it was a long hall that lead to a door at the far end, I ran as fast as my legs could take me and opened the door.

I gasped, the door opened to the morgue.