Intoxicated || An Eminem Fanfiction

Chapter 42

Marshall's POV

Driving through the streets of Detroit was a common practice I had done when I had a lot to think about.

I pull into the drive-through of the restaurant and place my order then picking it up from the end window.

As I'm waiting to exit the car park, I spot a familiar bar across the street, my mind started to race, the glow of the sign, suddenly triggering the feeling of dejavu creeping up my skin.

December 2007

I stood staring at her laying sleeping in my bed, the sheet barely covering her naked body.

Walking into my bathroom, dumping some pills into my hand from the container and shoving it back in the drawer before dropping them on my tongue and swallowing with some water from the tap.

Looking at my reflection in the mirror only reminded me of the disgusting mess I had become.

I didn't deserve a beautiful woman giving me affection, she didn't deserve to be dragged down with me.

But I really liked her.

The week had been one of the best I'd had since Proof passed.

In this haze of euphoria from the drugs and the feeling of disassociation from the world, she made me feel connected to something again.

I had a connection with her.

She made me feel... Something again.

Like some fucked up clearing in the clouds that shine a light on the darkest of places momentarily, warming a sold heart just enough so that it starts to beat.

She deserved more.

"That last kiss
I'll cherish
Until we meet again
And time makes
It harder
I wish I could remember
But I keep
Your memory
You visit me in my sleep
My darling
Who knew?"

The honking of a car behind me and the song playing over the radio snapped me out it my flashback.

What.

I continued to drive back in the direction of Sterling heights.

The revelations of our past have shaken me to my core, it was a bomb that was dropped in my lap that I wasn't prepared for.

When she said I wouldn't like what I heard, I thought it was something along the lines of being a jackass in public or something.

The fact that I had not only taken advantage of her kindness towards me in a dark time but also disrespected her while being so poisonous and classically me.

But why did I do it?

Why did I feel like destroying her at the time?

Was I scared of something?

The reaction had me baffled and it was even more frustrating that I couldn't remember it all.

It all made sense to me why she was the way she was towards me that she was, her toxic behaviour was because of things I had done.

I had ripped her to pieces while she was most valuable, I had probably the one person at the time who meant the world to her as her world was falling apart after losing her brother and in all honestly, I was disappointed in myself.

I groaned as I felt the pangs of guilt heavily kick me in the gut.

At one time in this hellish world, two damaged people had found each other, hiding from the world, while we healed our wounds together, and I still couldn't help but end up being the asshole.