Unbreakable

Chapter Thirty - Four

Hawk's POV

She looks at me with her big, blue cat-like eyes. God, why does she have to look at me like that? I drop my gaze and notice that she's wearing my shirt - I remember quickly searching for something for to wear, not wanting her to be embarrassed and sliding into bed next to her, pulling her warm body to my side and falling asleep with her in my arms. My mind wanders from there and thinks to everything that happened the night before.

The words 'use me' came out of her mouth and what little self-control I had was gone. I threw caution to the wind and my hands flew straight into her hair, pulling roughly. Her soft whimper only made me want her more and I forced her onto her knees.

Her throat felt amazing and looking into her eyes as my cock slid in and out of her mouth was hotter than anything I could imagine. More than that, though, I felt that she was trusting me, which gave me more pleasure than her body ever could.

I didn't want to come that way, so I pulled out quickly and pulled her to her feet. I don't know what came over me, but I found myself bending her over, with her hands on the bed and spanking her ass. I felt some of my frustration release in just the first hit, so I hit her again, and again. Each hit relieved more and more of the pressure I felt I had been building up.

I relished in the stinging feeling in my hand, knowing that she felt the same in her ass. It wasn't about the pain as much as it was about the complete trust she put in me to allow me to do such things to her and the stinging reminded me of it. In the entire time my hand came down onto her ass it was never about causing her pain, but about feeling free in the trust she gave me and that is what eased my frustration.

"Ow! Please, stop," she pleaded and I came back to my senses.

"Sorry, kitten. I didn't mean to hit you so hard," I apologize. I rub her ass, trying to soothe the pain. In my mind I had completely blown it and lost any chance of getting her back. I chastised myself, still rubbing her ass, and dreaded her next words.

"It's okay, Ash. I wanted you to, but can you just fuck me now so we can go to bed?" she asks, surprisingly. I felt a wave of relief washed over me and I felt even more honored that she would still give me a chance after everything I'd done.

We climbed onto the bed and I hovered over her, looking deeply into her eyes. I searched for any sign of hesitance or uncertainty, but found none. I pulled the sheets over us and brushed her hair out of her face, taking in the beautiful woman beneath me.

"Show me," she said, breathlessly and I was more than happy to comply.

I pushed into her, relishing in the way her tight walls clenched around my cock. God, how I had missed her. Every day was torture without her, but in that moment it was like the world had right itself and we were back to normal.

I was lost in emotion and breathed out, "I love you."

She whimpered in response and it spurred me on. I pushed into her deeper and harder and we quickly built up to our climaxes. She moaned my name and it undid me. We came together and I thrust into her a couple more times, prolonging our pleasure.

I looked down at her face, her eyes were closed and her eyelashes were fanned against her cheek. I commited the moment to memory - something that I swore never to forget.

Her hands that are still holding my head in place tense briefly, pulling me from my thoughts, and she seems to get nervous. She  bites her lips and I know what she's thinking. Oh, how I wish I could comply with her desires, but after last night I'm not so sure.

I sigh and remove her hands from my head, but I don't release her wrists and pull her closer to me, holding our hands between our chests. She looks up at me again, but this time looking disappointed. I squeeze my eyes shut and try to rein in my thoughts.

"June," I say, unsure. "I'm sorry, but - "

"Stop saying that," she says insistently, interrupting me. "I enjoyed it, hell, I've already told you I needed it. We made a breakthrough, Ash. Don't you see that?"

"But I never should have let that happen. I'm not frustrated with you, June. It wasn't right for me to take it out on you."

"Trust me, I've had my fair share of experiences of that," she responds. I cringe, imagining the things she had to go through and I feel my blood start to boil as I think of the bastards that abused her. She places her palms on my chest, pulling me from my thoughts again. "You are nothing like them. They never looked at me the way you do; they never stopped, even when I begged; and they definitely did not make love to me."

"I - " I begin to say, but she places her slender finger over my lips, stopping me.

"I may not remember who I was or what I meant to you, but you know what I am sure of?" she asks. I shake my head. She takes  a deep breath and continues. "I am positive I know who you are. You are a fearless leader, a great friend and an incredible person. You have a big heart and a good head on your shoulders. I'm sure that this is the person you have been and will always be."

Her words touch me deeply and I feel my heart start to swell. My eyes gloss over and no matter how much I tell myself not to cry, a single, traiterous tear rolls down my cheek. She wipes it with her thumb and I close my eyes. When I open them again I see her in tears and I lose it. I pull her into a tight hug and we just cry and cry together.

In this cathartic moment I realize that she is right, but I needed it just as much as she did. She needed to get past her inhibitions and uncertainties, and I needed to get the chip off my shoulder and become the person she needed: someone who would push her, but still make her feel safe; which I had no idea how to be before this.

She pulls away and looks up at me. Her eyes gazes wavers and drops to look at my lips. My eyes follow her lead and I study the curves of her soft, full lips. If there's anything I have learnt in these last few hours, it's that sometimes irrational, unexpected actions can result in liberation.

I lift a hand up and grip her chin gently. I lean in and she meets me half way. I feel the way her lips mold against mine. I hear her exhale through her nose, which causes me to release a breath I didn't know I was holding, echoing her sound of relief. From not wanting me to even touching her to allowing me to engage in the most intimate act before sex with her.

This moment is so intense, yet so peaceful. The air is cold, yet our skin is heated. I feel the exchange of our emotions without words. I feel the trust she's putting in me, and I hope she feels the love I have for her.

All this in a simple kiss.