Unbreakable

Chapter Forty - One

"Tell me what your safeword is," Ash demands.

"Cherry."

Without another word he pushes me away from him and moves behind me. He pulls my legs out from under me so I'm sprawled on my stomach and he pushes my head into the mattress, holding it there. My arms flail about as I struggle to get air. When I feel like my lungs are about to burst he finally lets go.

My mind goes numb - my eyes unseeing and ears unhearing.

"June, babygirl..." his distant voice penetrates my mind.

I blink once, then twice. His face finally comes into view again as the fog clears from my brain. I remember who I am, who he is.

"What happened? Are you alright?" Ash asks concerned.

"A way for me to cope with it was to become a mindless robot. Do as I am told and they won't hurt me as much," I say the second part in a hollow voice as I remember the mantra I clung to.

"I told you already to focus on me. I'm not them. You don't have to close yourself off."

I nod and he caresses my cheek. I close my eyes and lean into his hand. We stay like that for a few moments before he clears his throat, causing me to open my eyes and move my face from his hand.

"I'm going to tie you up now," he informs me as he takes my arms and pins them in the small of my back. I feel the soft silky material of one of his ties instead of the harshness of rope or handcuffs that I'm used to.

I turn my head to look back at him. His face is scrunched up as he focuses on tying me up. He notices me looking at him and gives me a small smile before pushing my face away, silently ordering me not to look at him.

I can already feel him taking away some of my nightmares as his actions replace memories of getting slapped in the face or feeling the excruciating bite of my restraints.

"Beg me to fuck you, pussycat."

That wasn't something I had told him, but the fact that he wants me to makes this so much more real. I take a few deep breaths reminding myself that I'm not in the pit anymore, that I don't have anything to worry about. And that name is something so familiar, yet still just below the surface.

"Fuck me please, master," I ask softly.

I feel a sharp sting on my ass as his hand connects with my skin.

"You can do better than that. I'm sure you can," he growls at me.

Instead of terror like I would normally have felt, my insides clench and I feel myself getting wet at the tone he's using.

"I want you so bad, master. Please fuck me. Please make me come! I'll be a good girl. I promise. Just please, please put your huge cock in me."

Without any warning he slams into me and thrusts hard, pounding into me from behind. It hurts since he gave me no time to adjust, but hearing his grunts of pleasure makes me relax and the pain turns into pleasure.

His big hands grip tightly onto my hips, squeezing the flesh so hard that I know it's going to bruise, but instead of feeling used, I feel treasured. He's only holding me so tightly out of passion and being in the moment, rather than to hurt me.

Images of Master come into my mind. I remember him scratching me and biting me all over my back and ass. Sometimes it would get so bad that I couldn't sleep, even in a bed, because no matter how I laid, my skin would sting against the cold sheets.

"Tell me you love it, pussycat," his deep voice demands and my stomach clenches again at the huskiness of it.

"Yes, yes! I love it master. You fuck me so good."

He just grunts again and picks up the pace. Pummeling into me with so much force that my body slides back and forth on the bed. I am absolutely powerless as his hands are the only things that keep me coming back onto him. I can't even lift my head. But it's hot, erotic instead of demeaning.

I feel tears prick at the corners of my eyes as I start to feel my orgasm coming on, knowing that I will be denied. I am a toy for masturbation. I am a good for nothing slut that only exists to serve men.

"Ash," I call out in a small, broken voice.

I cry out when he slaps my ass, the tears falling freely now. "What did you call me?"

"Ash, please stop."

He stops immediately, even though I didn't use the safeword. I wasn't hurt, I just couldn't take it anymore. He doesn't untie me, but lifts me up so my weight is over my knees and pulls my head into his chest, hugging me tightly and stroking my hair.

"What's wrong, babygirl?"

"It's too much. I'm sorry."

He shakes his head. "Shh..there's nothing to be sorry about. Tell me what you were thinking."

"Master was right. I'm a good for nothing s-"

"Stop right there, babygirl," he interrupts, pulling me away from his chest and forcing me to look up at him with a hand on my chin. "How many times must I tell you that you are a beautiful, smart, amazing and brave woman? How many times have I told you that I love you? How many times do I have to remind you that you are not there any longer?"

I just shake my head, not wanting to hear him. I don't believe any of it. I can't.

"You're really starting to piss me off," he says before getting off the bed and leaving the room, leaving me.

He left. And instead of feeling relief like I would if he was Master, all I feel is dread and loneliness.

"Stupid girl," I chastise myself, but I really am. I am a stupid girl. He's right, of course. I know that I'm not there anymore. I know that he's right and that he loves me and I love him back. I know that all my fears are in my head and I just need to let go of them.

"Fuck."

I cry harder. I cry because I'm all alone. I cry because I know he's right. I cry because I think I screwed up beyond forgiveness. I cry because I hate master. I cry because I want to forget him. I cry for myself, finally really fighting for myself and for my freedom. I just sob.

My tears finally subside with the occasional sniffle as the only remnant of the cathartic moment. Ashton still has not returned, but it does not hinder me from feeling lighter. In that moment of weakness I finally stood up for myself and let go of the irrational attachment I had to the memories of Master and the pit. I finally truly committed to getting better and finding myself.

I remembered the day he captured me - all of it. What Ashton and I were doing before the alarm sounded and I ordered the team into action. How we were ambushed and overpowered. How I gave my life up for the rest of the team's. And the promise Ashton made to rescue me.

Now if only that man would just come back so I could tell him.