Unbreakable

Chapter Forty

Author's Note

Sorry I haven't updated in a while like I said I would. I've just had no motivation to do anything lately. It just happens sometimes - most times it's only for a little while, but sometimes it lasts for months. Thankfully it wasn't so bad this time, but it did mess me up anyway. But, I'm back now and determined more than ever to get this book done!

But for now, I hope you enjoy this chapter.

DDD

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My brain completely shut down. I didn't know how to talk, how to think...how to breathe. I was gasping for air, but my lungs didn't fill up. I stared with wide eyes into his panicked ones.

He pulls me into his chest and rests his chin on my head. "Shh babygirl, you're alright. Breathe. In. Out. In. Out."

I draw in a huge breath of air and sputter slightly at finally no longer feeling like I was drowning without water. He sighs in relief and I can't help but giggle.

"Are you crazy? What on earth could you be giggling at?" he says incredulously, shaking his head atop mine.

"In, out, in, out?" I stop giggling and ask him. "You want to be inside me that badly?"

He pulls back and raises his eyebrows at me, staring as if I grew a second head and a third eye. "You are unbelievable."

I just shrug my shoulders in response and give him a cheeky grin.

"Does this mean you will let me?" he pushes.

I take in a deep breath and close my eyes. He caresses my face with one large hand I immediately feel safe. If anyone could help me forget, it would be him.

"Yes."

"I love you, babygirl. It's going to be hard, I know. Just focus on me and please, please trust me," he tells me with so much emotion that I can feel the pain he feels just thinking about what they did to me.

"I will."

"Would you feel better if we had a safeword?"

My eyes widen. "W-why?"

He sighs and then takes my face in both hands and looks intently into my eyes. "I'm going to be as rough as he was. I'm going to make you remember everything, but I don't want you to feel trapped or helpless."

"But why do you want to make me remember? I've never forgotten it!" I breathe out harshly, starting to panic again.

"I'll make you remember, then I'll show you that you're no longer there. I'm going to make you feel good, safe. But first you have to accept that all of it happened before you can move on."

"Okay," I say in a small voice.

"What is your safeword? I promise to stop as soon as you say it."

I think to myself for a long time. Master or any of them ever let me have a safeword and I didn't know what would be appropriate. What is something that I would remember when my brain no longer worked?

Something suddenly flashes into my mind. A memory of us from two years ago.

"Cherry."

"Okay? That's random," he says, his eyes softening.

"I just remembered it." When he doesn't say anything I sigh and try to explain. "Our third date you took me Elevate and gave me my first taste of Vodka."

His eyes light up as he remembers and he gives me a beautiful, bright smile. "A cherry vodka for miss lightweight?" he says in a faux gentlemanly voice, teasing me like he did on that special night.

"Why thank you my dear sir," I reply, matching his playful tone. When the mood died down a little I decided to speak up again. "It's the night you asked me to be your girlfriend."

"That's right," he breathes. "I was terrified you were going to turn me down - you were such a strong, independent woman that I didn't think you'd want a guy like me." He explains as he brushes my hair out of my face.

It's incredible. We haven't even started and I'm already remembering things. Maybe he was right - as always. If this is the only way to get over my nightmares and remember everything good I ever had, I have to do it.

"Make me forget, m-master," I say softly, timidly. His eyes widen, but he doesn't move. "Please."

Without another word he smashes his lips on mine. He's being so rough and crushing my face with his strong hands until my jaw hurts, but it's also passionate. I can feel his determination, but also his overwhelming emotion.

"Tell me exactly what he did."

I gulp, but don't hesitate a moment longer. "He threw me on the bed, smacked my ass and pushed my head down onto the mattress so I couldn't breathe."

Ash growled, but let me continue.

"Then he grabbed my arms and tied them behind my back. He lifted my hips so I was on my knees and my ass was in the air. He took me from behind, but stopped just before I could come."

My voice shakes a little and I take a deep breath. Ash rubs my back again, soothing me a little.

"T-then he flipped me on my back and pulled me to the edge of the bed so my head was hanging over, a-and I looked up to see his hard cock in my face. He made me beg for it then slammed it down my throat, never letting me catch my breath. Then he pulled out and came all over me."

"That bastard," Ashton mumbles.

"Then he pushed me to the middle of the bed and flipped me onto my stomach again and untied my hands and entered my ass. 'Fuck me, slut' he said and forced me to rock my hips back and forth on to him. I-I guess I didn't please him because he pulled out and slammed into my pussy and fucked me hard calling me all sorts of things."

I didn't notice that I had started crying until I felt his his calloused fingers wiping the tears away and replacing them with soft kisses.

"Then he...he hit me hard, with his belt I think, and my arms gave out. So, he pushed on my lower back and pulled my head up by my neck, choking me and kept thrusting. He came and then left without...I didn't...he didn't make me come. So, I stayed the night there used and crying."

"I'm going to kill him!" escapes his mouth and I look up to see his eyes alight with pure hatred and his nostrils flaring. I've never seen him this angry before and it honestly scares me.

His eyes connect with mine and soften immediately at the sight of my fear. He sighs and stretches his arms out as if trying to relieve the tension he's feeling. Then his hands are back on my face.

"Can you really do all of that with me?"

I tremble at the thought of everything I had just recounted, but I'm more sure than ever.

"Yes."