Fix me

Chapter 2

Song on the side........................................................................................................................................

Chapter 2

My alarm clock rang at six the next morning.

 I groaned, not wanting to get up before the sun. I was on the floor, just like last night and the night before that. I haven’t slept in my bed since it happened. There were too many memories that had happened there. Bad memories.

 My father didn’t know. Since he got home so late, he was usually too tired to do anything, but collapse on his bed, much less check up on me.

I didn’t mind. Fewer questions asked this way.

I resisted the urge to hit snooze on the alarm as it continued its insistent beeping, a screeching noise piercing the ever silent morning stiffness. Groaning, I got up and turned off the alarm, rubbing the sleep out of my half- lidded eyes. There should be a law for getting up this early.

Starting my morning routine, I peeled off my clothes and headed for the shower. Running water was just what I needed to start my day. Thirty minutes, brushed hair, clean teeth and clothes, and a cup of coffee later, I was standing at the bust stop, waiting to be transported to yet another day of high school. I lived in a small neighborhood with mostly retired, elderly couples occupying the houses there. I was alone at the bus stop.

 The bus tok eight minutes to arrive, just like every other morning. There was nothing else much to do but count the minutes. It kept from other thoughts entering my mind. In the quiet darkness of the morning, it was easy for bad thoughts to enter my mind. It was almost inevitable.

 I wished Vanessa was on my bus, but her mom drove her to school every day. These were the times that I wished I had more friends to keep me company and the darkness away.

 I climbed on the bus, finding the first unoccupied seat I could, which just happened to be near the back. There will be seven other stops before we arrived at school. It is the last one I was worried about. My hands were folded across my lap and I stared out the dirty bus window, trying to keep my mind occupied.

The bus was mostly quiet as students tried to catch up on lack of sleep or forgotten homework assignments from the day before. The only noise was the soft purr of the engine and two junior girls squealing in the back about how one of them lost their virginity the night before to a boy named Mark. It was supposed to be a secret and the other girl swore not to tell anyone. I wondered if the girl who lost her virginity will make the whole bus swear not to tell as well. I was sure it would spread quickly throughout the junior class.  Not much happened at our school and any form of gossip was gladly eaten up by deprived teenagers.

The old bus squealed as it approached it’s stop, sounding much like the two girls in the back.

This was it.

 As always, my heart beat erratically in my chest, my folded hands entwined together so hard, my knuckles turn white. My breathing quickened and I started to break out in cold sweat. The bus driver opened the door, allowing the monster to step into my cage. It walked in behind a tall senior girl. It approached. I avoided eye contact, but not before I caught a glimpse of him. My quickened heart stopped beating altogether for a moment and I held my breath as I counted down.

Three-one thousand. He started walking down the bus aisle. The senior in front of him takes a seat in the front. If I looked up, I would be able to see him perfectly. But I don’t. I wont allow myself to. Two- one thousand. A friend from the back called him over. He started towards me, almost upon me. My lips wouldn’t stop shaking no matter how hard I bit them until I eventually tasted blood. That only caused my teeth to chatter. It was too loud. He was sure to hear.  One –one thousand. I was out of time.