Fix me

Chapter 31

Song on the side...........................................................................................................................................................

Chapter 31

One moment, Hunter was standing across the table, running out of curses, and the next, my cousin was on the floor, holding his nose with blood dripping between his fingers, Hunter hovering over him, his knuckles a strange combination of red and purple.

That’s when everyone started to take action.

They stood up, rushing to where Hunter was taking more swings at Jeremy, pinning him down on the floor, rendering him helpless. It took dad, Lucas, and Susan’s boyfriend to get him off, and even then, he was struggling to get loose, screaming at Jeremy things that nobody could understand.

Aunt Livvie was leaning over my cousin, checking to make sure that he was alright. “Get him out of here!” She was screaming.

Aunt Livvie never screamed.

My Uncle Eric was, for once, silence.

It was like someone had stuffed cotton balls in my ears and I couldn’t hear anything. I saw my mom’s lips moving and Amy was saying something to Hunter, but I couldn’t focus on what it was.

Jeremy groaned.

“Susan, go get the first aid kit,” Livvie instructed.

“I’ll get it,” I insisted, needing to leave right now. I ran out of the room before anyone could stop me and headed for the upstairs bathroom. My hands were shaking and I could hear my own blood rushing in my ears and nothing else. Someone had replaced my heart with a rock and it lay there, heavy in my chest.

I couldn’t breathe as I shoved open the bathroom door, collapsing against the counter. I hovered over the marble top, dry heaving into the sink. I kicked the door closed behind me; I needed to be alone. I needed to pretend that this wasn’t happening.

I had been so careful. For months I had kept my mouth shut, making sure no one knew the truth. I had lied to my best friend, my dad, my own sister. I gave up being honest with them and it was all for nothing.

I was doing fine and then he came along. And he was nice to me, kind. He made me believe that I could be normal again. He made me feel again. I let him in and it was either the stupidest thing I had ever done or the smartest.

I twisted the faucet on and splashed cold water on my face, breathing deeply. I gripped the edges of the counter so tight. My knuckles turned white. The thought that struck me at that moment was, “What now?”

I turned off the water and leaned my elbows on the marble top, resting my head on my hands.

What now?

The door slammed open behind me, making me jump at the sudden bang of the door hitting the bathroom wall with a loud crack!

Jeremy stood in the doorway, his face bloody and bruised. His shirt was ripped in multiple places, exposing flesh. Hunter had really done a lot of damage.  My spine straightened and my heart dropped to the back of my knees.

“W-what are you doing here?” I asked. My legs shook.

He didn’t say anything and that was probably the most terrifying thing about him. He stepped into the bathroom and the door was closed behind him, but I couldn’t remember him ever closing it.

We were utterly and completely alone.

“Where is Hunter?” I asked.

He didn’t answer; he took another step closer.

“Where’s Aunt Livvie?” I couldn’t see his expression under all the blood and swelling and I remembered the way Hunter had touched me just a few days ago, so gentle.

Jeremy was only a few steps in front of me now with only the loud drumming of my heartbeat between us.

“Stop.” I said, trying to back up, but only finding the sink counter behind me. One million thoughts hit me like bullets, everything that could happen loading the weapon.

“You told him.” He said, him emotion one of absolute calm. As if he just stating an obvious face and that was it.

Only it wasn’t.

“Where is everyone else?” I was becoming hysterical. We were too alone and it was too loud loud loud with silence.

“It was just supposed to be between us,” Jeremy looked angry now. There was a flash in his eyes that I had never seen before. There was nothing new about the terror that buzzed through my veins.

I looked looked looked at the blood on his collar. “I’m s-sorry,” I stuttered. “I’m s-sorry.”

His hands grasped my upper arms and he shook me. “Do you know what you’ve done?” He didn’t dare shout for fear of those downstairs who would hear everything.

All I saw was ice blue and blood red and the black of my fear, clouding my vision.

“I can’t lose you,” His voice broke and I could have sworn that I saw tears falling down his cheeks. He shook me again and his fingers tightened on my arms and my thoughts were screaming, WHERE IS EVERYONE?

“I love you so much. Why can’t you see that? Why did you have to go and ruin everything?”

“Please,” I tried desperately to reason with him. “It’s over. Hunter knows and everyone else will soon. Just leave me alone. It’s over. Just leave me alone . . .” my voice was a whisper that shook the whole room. There was one, two, seven seconds of silence.

And then, “I can’t.”

He pushed me to the floor and I was too surprised to make a noise and he was on top of me, only we weren’t on the bathroom anymore, but on my bed and it was the Fourth of July and he was forcing my pants down.

And we were in the school outside of the girl’s locker room and he was pressing me against the wall, his lips on my cheek and his hands lifting me shirt up.

And we were in the forest preserve and he was kicking me and yelling at me and kissing me.

 And we were in an empty classroom and I was the one doing the yelling and he was still hurting me.

And we were in my living room and his hand was on my throat and his words were in my ear.

And we were at the dinner table and his hand was on my knee and Hunter Hunter Hunter knew.

And we were on the bathroom floor and he was unbuttoning my pants and tugging at them and whispering words that made no sense and lies about loving me and all I could think was NO.

And I did something that we both weren’t expecting.

Dear Jeremy, you were never the one in control.