Fix me

Chapter 25

Song on the side......................................................................................................................................................

Chapter 25

“P-pregnant?” I asked, unbelieving. No, it couldn’t be true. She wouldn’t do that to me, to us. Nut she had been gone for so long . . . . No, I couldn’t think like that. It was a lit. A horrible, despicable, cruel lie. My mother was not pregnant.

“I don’t believe you.” I said, pushing away my tea. I stood up, not being able to keep still any longer.

“Violet, you have to understand-.”

“Understand what?” I shouted at my aunt. “That my mother, while we were here worrying about her, wondering what we did that so terrible that she had to leave, she was out having sex with another man. Is that what you want me to understand? Because I. Don’t. Believe. You.”

“I’m sorry.” Aunt Livvie said, sounding close to tears. “I don’t know what to tell you.”

“Tell me the truth!” I screamed, slamming my hand on the table for emphasis. She jumped back and a tang of guilt shook me, so I breathed through my nose, slowly lowering myself back into my seat. “Aunt Livvie, please,” I whispered. “Tell me it isn’t true. Tell me my mom isn’t pregnant.”

“Violet, that’s not all there is to it,” She said softly. Her eyes were darting back and forth as if she didn’t know how to tell me whatever it was she needed to say. Or didn’t want to. I couldn’t imagine what else there could possibly be. My mother was pregnant with my half-brother or sister.

Too many bad scenarios came to mind and I quickly blocked them out. “What?” I asked, feeling like I was going to throw up.

“She had a miscarriage earlier today.”

I had heard her wrong. I was sure of it. And then, somewhere inside of me was a feeling of relief. It was there for only a second, but it was long enough for me to realize the wrongness of it.

“A . . . a miscarriage? “I could hardly breathe. Someone had their hand wrapped around my throat, squeezing. There was no air. I was choking choking choking.

Aunt Livvie sat there calmly; hand wrapped around her much, her thumb skimming the rim. “The doctor said it might happen, but she didn’t listen to him. She thought . . . she thought she would be okay.”

“Doctor?” I asked. When did she go see a doctor? What hadn’t she told me any of this? Why was I just finding this out? My mother was- had been- pregnant. And I had not known until it was too late.

“She’s been going to the local clinic for a while now. I’ve been taking her ever since she got back.” Suddenly, it all clicked into place. All those times she had said she had been looking for a job, going on interviews, they were lies. She couldn’t work if she was expecting. She was really going to see a doctor.

“I’m going to be sick.” I said before running over to the sink and emptying my stomach. As I was coughing up the last of it, Aunt Livvie placed a hand on my back, probably for comfort, but I jumped back, wiping my mouth with my sleeve. “Don’t touch me,” I hissed, overcome with a sudden anger. My mother had kept this from me. She had lied and cheated and hid. I had thought that I could trust her, but I had been wrong.

“Violet, please don’t be angry.”

“How can I not be?” I yelled. “How can I not be?” I had to leave. I didn’t know what time it was and I didn’t care. I just couldn’t stay in that house any longer. I pushed past my aunt and grabbed my coat from the living room, heading towards the front door.